January 30, 2008



I asked God to grant me patience. God said, No.
Patience is a byproduct of tribulations;
it isn't granted, it is earned.

I asked God to give me happiness. God said, No.
I give you blessings. Happiness is up to you.

I asked God to spare me pain. God said, No.
Suffering draws you apart from worldly cares
and brings you closer to me.

I asked God to make my spirit grow.
God said, No. You must grow on your own,
but I will prune you to make you fruitful.

I asked for all things that I might enjoy in life.
God said No. I will give you life
so that you may enjoy all things.

I ask God to help me LOVE others,
as much as God loves me.
God said...Ahhhh, finally you have the idea.

Stop telling God how big your storm is.
Instead tell your storm how big your GOD is.

Source: Unknown

January 24, 2008

I wish for you...

I wish for you...
Comfort on difficult days,
Smiles when sadness intrudes,
Rainbows to follow the clouds,
Laughter to kiss your lips,
Sunsets to warm your heart,
Gentle hugs when spirits sag,
Friendships to brighten your being,
Beauty for your eyes to see,
Confidence for when you doubt,
Faith so that you can believe,
Courage to know yourself,
Patience to accept the truth,
And love to complete your life.
I asked the Lord to bless you
As I prayed for you today
To guide you and protect you
As you go along your way...
His love is always with you
His promises are true,
You know He will see us through.
So when the road you're traveling on
Seems difficult at best
God will do the rest.

Source: Unknown

January 23, 2008

Too busy

As you got up this morning, I watched you, and hoped you would
talk to me, even if it was just a few words, asking my opinion
or thanking me for something good that happened in your life
yesterday. But I noticed you were too busy,
trying to find the right outfit to wear.

When you ran around the house getting ready, I knew there would
be a few minutes for you to stop and say hello,
but you were to busy.

At one point you had to wait, fifteen minutes with nothing
to do except sit in a chair. Then I saw you spring to
your feet. I thought you wanted to talk to me out
you ran to the phone and called a friend to get the latest
gossip instead. I watched patiently all day long.

With all your activities I guess you were too busy to say
anything to me. I noticed that before lunch you looked
around, maybe you felt embarrassed to talk
to me, that is why you didn't bow your head. You glanced
three or four tables over and you noticed some of
your friends talking to me briefly before they ate,
but you didn't. That's okay.

There is still more time left, and I hope that you will
talk to me yet. You went home and it seems as if you
had lots of things to do. After a few of them were done,
you turned on the TV.

I don't know if you like TV or not, just about anything
goes there and you spend a lot of time each day in
front of it not thinking about anything, just enjoying
the show.

I waited patiently again as you watched the TV and ate
your meal, but again you didn't talk to me.

Bedtime-I guess you felt too tired. After you said
goodnight to your family you plopped into bed and
fell asleep in no time.

That's okay because you may not realize that I am always
there for you. I've got patience, more than you will
ever know. I even want to teach you how to be patient
with others as well. I love you so much that I wait
everyday for a nod, prayer or thought or a thankful
part of your heart. It is hard to
have a one-sided conversation.

Well, you are getting up once again.
And once again I will wait, with nothing but love for you.
Hoping that today you will
give me some time. Have a nice day!

Your friend,
Source: Unknown

January 18, 2008

Words of Wisdom

Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome.

Arguing with your Boss is like wrestling with a pig in mud. After a while you realize that while you are getting dirty, the pig is actually enjoying it.

Behind every successful man, is a surprised mother-in-law.

Whoever said money can't buy happiness, didn't know where to shop.

Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but then again, neither does milk.

Most people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.

You're not a complete idiot, there are still some parts missing.

Forgive your enemies but remember their names.

Doing nothing is very hard to do; you never know when you're finished.

Source: http://www.laffaday.com

January 15, 2008

Dear Dr. Laura:

Dear Dr. Laura:

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. For example, when someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate.

However, I do need some advice from you regarding some of the other specific laws and how to follow them.

1. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord (Lev.1:9). The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15:19-24. The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most
women take offense.

4. Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination (Lev. 11:10), it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?

7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev.19:27. How should they die?

9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them (Lev.24:10-16)? Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14) I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

Your devoted fan,
Source: As Heard On Friday, January, 31, 2003:
Letter to Dr. Laura from a Bob and Sheri listener!

January 14, 2008

Life's Lessons

Happiness keeps You Sweet,

Trials keep You Strong,

Sorrows keep You Human,

Failures keeps You Humble,

Success keeps You Glowing,

But Only GOD keeps You Going!

You are so special!
Source: Unknown

January 12, 2008

The Holy Alphabet

The Holy Alphabet
Although things are not perfect
Because of trial or pain
Continue in thanksgiving
Do not begin to blame
Even when the times are hard
Fierce winds are bound to blow
God is forever able
Hold on to what you know
Imagine life without His love
Joy would cease to be
Keep thanking Him for all the things
Love imparts to thee
Move out of "Camp Complaining"
No weapon that is known
On earth can yield the power
Praise can do alone
Quit looking at the future
Redeem the time at hand
Start every day with worship
To "thank" is a command
Until we see Him coming
Victorious in the sky
We'll run the race with gratitude
Xalting God most high
Yes, there'll be good times,
and yes some will be bad, but...
Zion waits in glory...
where none are ever sad!
Source: Unknown

January 11, 2008

Rules from God

1. Wake Up !!
Decide to have a good day.
"Today is the day the Lord hath made;
let us rejoice and be glad in it."
Psalms 118:24
2. Dress Up !!

The best way to dress up is to put on a smile.
A smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks.
"The Lord does not look at the things man looks at.
Man looks at outward appearance;
but the Lord looks at the heart."
I Samuel 16:7
3. Shut Up!!

Say nice things and learn to listen.
God gave us two ears and one mouth, so He must have meant
for us to do twice as much listening as talking.
"He who guards his lips guards his soul."
Proverbs 13:3

4. Stand Up!!...
For what you believe in.
Stand for something or you will fall for anything..
"Let us not be weary in doing good; for at the proper time,
we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.
Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good..."
Galatians 6:9-10
5. Look Up !!...
To the Lord.
"I can do everything through Christ who strengthens me."
Philippians 4:13
6. Reach Up !!...
For something higher.
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
and lean not unto your own understanding.
In all your ways, acknowledge Him,
and He will direct your path."
Proverbs 3:5-6
7. Lift Up !!...
Your Prayers.
"Do not worry about anything;
instead PRAY ABOUT
Philippians 4:6

God answers Knee-Mail.

Source: Unknown

January 10, 2008

Four Boyfriends

Once upon a time there was a girl who had four boyfriends.

She loved the fourth boyfriend the most and adorned him with rich robes and treated him to the finest of delicacies. She gave him nothing but the best.

She also loved the third boyfriend very much and was always showing him off to neighboring kingdoms. However, she feared that one day he would leave her for another.

She also loved her second boyfriend. He was her confident and was always kind, considerate and patient with her. Whenever this girl faced a problem, she could confide in him, and he would help her get through the difficult times.

The girl's first boyfriend was a very loyal partner and had made great contributions in maintaining her wealth and kingdom. However, she did not love the first boyfriend. Although he loved her deeply, she hardly took notice of him!

One day, the girl fell ill and she knew her time was short. She thought of her luxurious life and wondered, 'I now have four boyfriends with me, but when I die, I'll be all alone.'

Thus, she asked the fourth boyfriend, 'I loved you the most, endowed you with the finest clothing and showered great care over you. Now that I'm dying, will you follo w me and keep me company?'

'No way!', replied the fourth boyfriend, and he walked away without another word.

His answer cut like a sharp knife right into her heart.

The sad girl then asked the third boyfriend, 'I loved you all my life. Now that I'm dying, will you follow me and keep me company?'

'No!', replied the third boyfriend. 'Life is too good! When you die, I'm going to marry someone else!'

Her heart sank and turned cold.

She then asked the second boyfriend, 'I have always turned to you for help and you've always been there for me. When I die, will you follow me and keep me company?'

'I'm sorry, I can't help you out this time!', replied the second boyfriend. 'At the very most, I can only walk with you to your grave.'

His answer struck her like a bolt of lightning, and the girl was devastated.

Then a voice called out: 'I'll go with you. I'll follow you no matter where you go.'

The girl looked up, and there was her first boyfriend. He was very skinny as he suffered from malnutrition and neglect.

Greatly grieved, the girl said, 'I should have taken much better care of you when I had the chance!'

In truth, you have four boyfriends in your lives:

Your fourth boyfriend is your body. No matter how much time and effort you lavish in making it look good, it will leave you when you die.

Your third boyfriend is your possessions, status and wealth.When you die, it will all go to others.

Your second boyfriend is your family and friends. No matter how much they have been there for you, the furthest they can stay by you is up to the grave.

And your first boyfriend is your spirit. Often neglected in pursuit of wealth, power and pleasures of the world.

However, your spirit is the only thing that will follow you where ever you go. Cultivate, strengthen and cherish it now, for
it is the only part of you that will follow you to the the one of God and continue with you throughout Eternity.

Thought for the day : Remember, when the world pushes you to your knees, you're in the perfect position to pray .

Pass this on to someone you care about - I just did.

Being happy doesn't mean everything's perfect. It means you've decided to see beyond the imperfections.
Source: Unknown

January 6, 2008



When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not shouting "I'm clean livin."
I'm whispering "I was lost,"
Now I'm found and forgiven.

When I say..."I am a Christian"
I don't speak of this with pride.
I'm confessing that I stumble
and need CHRIST to be my guide.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not trying to be strong.
I'm professing that I'm weak
and need HIS strength to carry on.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I am not bragging of success.
I'm admitting I have failed
and need God to clean my mess.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not claiming to be perfect,
My flaws are far too visible
but, God believes I am worth it.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I still feel the sting of pain,
I have my share of heartaches
So I call upon His name.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not holier than thou,
I'm just a simple sinner
who received God's good grace, somehow
Source: Maya Angelou

January 5, 2008

When you NEED to Pray

1. When a co-worker comes in a little too happy singing "good morning" to everyone and you think, "Somebody needs to slap the s#@! out of her".....You need to pray at work.

2. When someone comes in and announces, "Office meeting in 5 minutes," and you think, "What the f*&% do they want now?".....You need to pray at work.

3. When your computer is mysteriously turned off and you want to say, "Which one of you sons of b*&^%$# turned off my computer?"....You need to pray at work.

4. When you and a co-worker are discussing something, and a third person comes in and says, "well at my last office...," and you want to throw a stapler at him...... You need to pray at work.

5. When you hear a co-worker call your name and the first thing that crosses your mind is, "What the h*&^ does she want now?" and you try to hide underneath your desk..... You need to pray at work.

6. When you are asked to stay late and help do someone else's work and the first thing that pops in your head is, "Both of y'all can kiss my a@@!!"..... You need to pray at work.

7. When you're in the elevator and it stops to pick up someone who stood for five minutes waiting for the darn thing only to go DOWN one floor, and you say "That lazy b*&%$#"...... You need to pray at work.

8. When you take some vacation time and come back to find a mountain of paperwork sitting on your desk because no one else would do it and you think, "Sorry a## M#$^%F%&#s"......You need to pray at work.

9. If you have ever thought about poisoning, choking, punching, slapping or flattening someone's tires that you work with.....You need to pray at work.

10. If you avoid saying more than hello or how are you doing to someone because you know it's going to lead to their life story ........You need to pray at work.

11. If you know all the words that have been bleeped out....You need to pray at work!

Source: Unknown

"Seek HIS will in all you do, and he will direct your paths--Proverbs 3:6."

January 4, 2008

Saved & Single

Saved & Single

What makes you think that just because I am
an Attractive woman of Godly intelligence

That I'm incomplete without a mate?

Who told you that without a man

Something's missing from my life?

And if so, What would that be?


I love myself
And more importantly I love the Lord
He told me that when I delight in Him,
He will give me the desires of my heart
I have everything I need according to His riches in glory.

Now, how's a man going to get to know me
When he doesn't even know who he is in the Lord
See my Father told me I'm above a ruby's worth
And a gem does not seek
It is sought

I'm single and that's all right with me

it's not that I oppose relationships
It's that I detest co-dependency
As a woman I know it is not my role
To chase after any man

Esther 2:14
reads That I am to wait on my king and when he's delighted
in me. He will call me by my name.

My Lord does not intend for me to be needy or desperate.
I am to be Cherished, Relished, Valued, and Honored,
It's not my job to convince him
Or Convict him of that,
My mate will already know it
And consistently show it
And he will stay on his knees daily
Not just to adore me
to praise the Lord for
The virtuous woman he has found
So, when you see me by myself
I'm not alone I know what I have coming to me

I'm single and saved, and right now that's all I need to be!

Source: Unknown

January 3, 2008

A Handy little chart

It is easy to get discouraged when things are going bad. But we shouldn't lose heart, because God is at work in our lives, even in the midst of pain and suffering. Remember, next time your little hut is burning to the ground it just may be a smoke signal that summons the grace of God. For all the negative things we have to say to ourselves, God has a positive answer for it:




You say: "It's impossible"

God says: All things are possible

(Luke 18:27)

You say: "I'm too tired"

God says: I will give you rest

(Matthew 11:28-30)

You say: "Nobody really loves me"

God says: I love you

(John 3:16 & John 3:34 )

You say: "I can't go on"

God says: My grace is sufficient

(II Corinthians 12:9 & Psalm 91:15)

You say: "I can't figure things out"

God says: I will direct your steps

(Proverbs 3:5-6)

You say: "I can't do it"

God says: You can do all things

(Philippians 4:13)

You say: "I'm not able"

God says: I am able

(II Corinthians 9:8)

You say: "It's not worth it"

God says: It will be worth it

(Roman 8:28 )

You say: "I can't forgive myself"

God says: I Forgive you

(I John 1:9 & Romans 8:1)

You say: "I can't manage"

God says: I will supply all your needs

(Philippians 4:19)

You say: "I'm afraid"

God says: I have not given you a spirit of fear

(II Timothy 1:7)

You say: "I'm always worried and frustrated"

God says: Cast all your cares on ME

(I Peter 5:7)

You say: "I don't have enough faith"

God says: I've given everyone a measure of faith

(Romans 12:3)

You say: "I'm not smart enough"

God says: I give you wisdom

(I Corinthians 1:30)

You say: "I feel all alone"

God says: I will never leave you or forsake you

(Hebrews 13:5)

Believe God is there just for you..

Source: Unknown

January 1, 2008



I would like to give honor to God who is the head of my life

and to welcome all visitors to the "Words of Jericho Ontop

Of A Mighty Rock Seventh-Day Christian Missionary

Baptist Tabernacle Church of God in Christ.

We do appreciate you all coming out today and due to bills

not being paid, there is no air-conditioning or fans available.

Sis. Usher will be walking around with fans and ice cubes

for a $5 dollar donation which will go towards our Pastor's

new fur..........I mean the Church's Building Fund.

The Youth Sisters Ministry will be having their 100 Women

in Weave March this Sunday at 4pm. Members are asked to

invite a friend. The more weave the better. The members of the

church are asked to keep Bro. Allen in your prayers.

After singing "Trouble Don't Last Always", he was arrested

for shoplifting. He's now serving the rest of his previous

5 year sentence. I guess his troubles are going to last

for 5 years.

Anyway.......................Sis. Hattie will be selling

mud cakes and mud pies after service today. She wants to

apologize to the people who got sick from her cakes and

pies last month. She says that she had no idea that real

mud was not supposed to be used in making the cakes or pies.

The Health Ministry will be giving away Pepto Bismol for

all members who purchase cakes or pies today.

Today we will be passing around plastic spoons and shot

glasses for Communion. Seems like the motherboard wanted

to start the party early this morning, so we are stuck

with using Rice Krispies and Crown Royal instead of

breadsticks and Martell. You can thank the Pastor for

just so happening to have bought 4 Cases of Crown Royal

last night after the Church's Revival and left them in

his new Red 2003 Mustang. Pastor how did you afford that

car without a job? God is good, ain't he?

Due to the recent slew of bounced checks, a list of names

of those people who can not write checks for tithes to the

church is inside your morning program. Because of the

increase in men joining the church because of last week's

announcement, the pastor wanted me to make sure that

everyone understood the announcement.

The Men's Ministry
will be sponsoring a Sweatshirt Contest,

not a Wet Shirt
Contest. The reason is to choose the new logo

for their
sweatshirt. Those men who just joined the church,

we want
you to know that your $200 deposit is non-refundable

and has
gone towards the pastor's love offering.................

I mean the
church's building fund. :-D

The Pastor wanted the Praise Dancers to know that he has

turned down your request to add the Electric Slide, the

Cabbagge Patch, and the Rump Shaker to your routines

during Praise and Worship Service. A side note to that

announcement goes to the men in the congregation. Please

do not throw money or phone numbers at the feet of the

Praise Dancers. If anything you should throw it into the

pastor's love.................I mean the Building Fund.

The Music and Arts Departments are bringing back their

popular play:

"Big Mama Whooped Me During Sunday School." Tickets are

going fast.

After today's service, we will be selling dinner for those

of you who will be staying for the evening service. On the

menu is Chicken, Rolls, String Beans and Punch. The cost is

$25.00 per person.

Members are encouraged to pick up Bro Sterling's new cd. It

features the hit song "Why We Bling". It's a remake of Kirk

Franklin's "Why We Sing". Featuring J.O.B...Jesus Over Blunts.

As you know, Luke from the 2 Live Crew joined our ministries

last Sunday and will be rapping and singing his testimony to

us during the R&B.......I mean A&B selection...He wants

everyone to know that...it's no longer about if it's your

birthday........"It's Your Judgment Day". R. Kelly will

also be in the temple next Sunday singing his praises, but

you know that grown boy like little girls, so please keep

your children at home.

Today's announcements are sponsored by June Bug N' Pee-Wee's

Bible Bookstore and Barber Shop where their motto is "Buy a

book and improve your look."
Source: Unknown

A Thing Called Life

Source: Unknown