A Missouri farmer passed away and left 17 mules to his three sons. The instructions left in the will said that the oldest boy was to get one-half, the second oldest one-third, and the youngest one-ninth. The three sons, recognizing the difficulty of dividing 17 mules into these fractions, began to argue.

Their uncle heard about the argument, hitched up his mule and drove out to settle the matter. He added his mule to the 17, making 18. The oldest therefore got one-half, or nine, the second oldest got one-third, or six, and the youngest son got one-ninth, or two. Adding up 9, 6 and 2 equals 17. The uncle, having settled the argument, hitched up his mule and drove home.

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Do you have Alzheimer's?

If you are over 45-years-old, you SHOULD take this Alzheimer's Test.

How fast can you guess these words and fill-in the blanks?


1. _ _NDOM

2. F_ _K

3. P_N_S

4. PU_S_

5. S_X

6. BOO_S

*****
Answers:

1. RANDOM

2. FORK

3. PANTS

4. PULSE

5. SIX

6. BOOKS

You got all 6 wrong....didn't you?

You do NOT have Alzheimer's

You are a Pervert.

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 A young man moved out from home and into his first apartment. He went proudly down to the lobby to put his name on his mailbox. While there, a stunning young blonde lady came out of the apartment next to the mailboxes, wearing only a robe. The boy smiled at the young woman and she started up a conversation with Him.

As they talked, her robe slipped open, and it was obvious that she had nothing else on. The poor kid broke into a sweat trying to maintain eye contact.

After a few minutes, she placed her hand on his arm and said, "Let's go to my apartment, I hear someone coming."

He followed her into her apartment; she closed the door and leaned against it, allowing her robe to fall off completely. Now nude, she purred at him, "What would you say is my best feature?"

Flustered and embarrassed, he finally squeaked, "It's got to be your ears."

Astounded, and a little hurt she asked, "My ears?! Look at these breasts; they are a full 39 inches and 100 percent natural. I work out every day and my ass is firm and solid. I have a 28 inch waist. Look at my skin - not a blemish anywhere. How can you think that the best part of my body is my ears?"

Clearing his throat, he stammered, "Outside, when you said you heard someone coming...that was me."

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40th birthday

 On my 40th birthday I waltzed out of my bedroom dressed in an old outfit I dug out of the back of the closet.

"I wore this on my 30th birthday! I guess that means my wardrobe is ten years old," I said to my husband, hoping he'd take the hint and buy me some clothes as a present.

"Or," he offered instead, "it means when you were 30 you had the body of a 40-year-old."

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Movie List - 3/2012

Any movie that is highlighted should definitely be checked out! Movies that are in bold are considered to be good, but not great.

Movie List - 3/2012


_________

Dave Chappelle's Block Party

Lions for Lambs

Flight of the Conchords: Season 2

The Education of Sonny Carson

Wrong Turn 4: Bloody Beginnings

Johnny English Reborn

                                    Assassination Games     (Great action movie)

A Haunting: Season 3

Carnage

                                          The Dead    (Bad movie, cool zombies)

The Muppets

Tower Heist

The Adventures of Tintin

The Debt

Hostel: Part III

Melancholia

The Three Musketeers

The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn: Part 1

Wrong Turn 3: Left for Dead

Senna

Jack and Jill

Like Crazy

Attack the Block

                  Footloose   (1984)

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