September 25, 2012

 Dear Dr Phil,

I was watching my next door neighbor's wife sunbathing topless from my bedroom window. As I was jerking off I turned to notice my wife was just standing there, arms folded...watching me.

Is she a pervert?


The cost of living has now gotten so bad that my wife is having sex with me because she can't afford batteries!

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September 21, 2012

Chef M3RLz: 09/20/12 and 09/21/12

Chicken, chicken, chicken!!!!

Bawk, bawk, bawk!!!!

I'm consuming so much chicken, that I'm afraid I'm going to turn into one!

Is that a feather?! Oh no! Help!

Silliness aside....

Before this cooking challenge, I was only eating meat 2 or 3 times a month! Now I'm eating meat 5 or 6 times a week! My stomach is in complete turmoil! My routine diet has taken a backseat to these delicious meals that look too good to pass up! As a flexitarian, a person who eats a primarily vegetarian diet, but occasionally also eats meat, I'm teetering towards a carnivorous lifestyle!

Booooooooooooooooo! Meat is murder!!!!!

Well, except for shrimp, of course.

Don't judge me....

So this week, my two meals are vegetarian! Both meals contain Dole's Very Veggie Salad Blend: Romaine Lettuce, Iceberg Lettuce, Carrots, Snow Peas, Red Cabbage, and Radishes.

Fusilli pasta with homemade pasta sauce
and a side of  Dole's Very Veggie Salad Blend
(Excuse the dirty stove....and some pieces of overcooked pasta)

Dole's Very Veggie Salad Blend 
(Romaine Lettuce, Iceberg Lettuce, Carrots, Snow Peas, Red Cabbage, and Radishes)
Added tomatoes, cucumbers,  raisins, sharp cheddar cheese, pepper jack cheese and a light creamy Caesar salad dressing.

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Rosy, posing thoughtfully in the mirror, says to Nina, "I think I'm going to see a dietician."

Nina asked, "Why?"

Rosy answered, "'Cause I need to know once and for all, how many calories are in sperm."

Nina replied, "I really have no clue, but if you're swallowing that much of it, no guy is going to care if you're a little chunky."

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September 13, 2012

Chef M3RLz: 09/13/12

Last night I made homemade pizza for dinner. Yum!

Tonight's menu:  Baked Apricot Chicken with Fried Plantain and Veggies.

I was bored and had 2 hours to find a recipe to make before my movie started. (I'm an avid movie fan, some even use the word "obsessed", so I have a schedule to follow; click here for my Monthly Movie Lists.) My mom was cleaning out the fridge and offered me 2 pieces of chicken to experiment with. I have dabbled with the Smucker's Apricot Preserves before but this time I wanted to make a great dish instead of a good one.

Don't have the exact measurements but here is the original recipe:
  • 3    pounds chicken drumsticks
  • 1    cup Smucker's Apricot Preserves
  • 1/2  cup ketchup
  • 1/4  cup soy sauce
  • 2    tsp hot pepper (Used Matouk's Hot Calypso Sauce which is very spicy!!!)
  • 2    tsp clove garlic, minced

Vegetables (sauteed) :
  • Onions
  • Red pepper
  • Green pepper
  • Salt
  • Black pepper
  • Garlic

Baked Apricot Chicken 
with Fried Plantain and Veggies

It was so yummy, I took a quick bite before snapping the first pic. 
It was gone by the 2nd pic! LOL

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September 11, 2012

Chef M3RLz: 09/11/12

My mom is bragging to her friends about my cooking again. That's the same person who is always reluctant to try my food. She loves to complain that her "blood pressure is too high" or her "sugar level is abnormal" and that since my food is too sweet, it would cause her levels to fluctuate. My American food that is, not the Italian dishes.  

Excuses, excuses. I think she's afraid that if she tries it, she'll actually like it! I know she would.

One of the people that she told was my uncle. He loves when my sister and I excel at different hobbies so he's always super supportive when we try something new. He's yet to try any of my food (see last post) but has decided to contribute a large bag of jumbo shrimp! Ka-ching! I love that man! :)

Keeping with my new schedule of cooking twice a week, I've managed to serve a few dishes recently. For the month of September, I've made cod fish, chicken, and shrimp and we're only 11 days in. I'm back with another chicken dish: my tweaked version of a Honey Baked Chicken recipe found online. Turned it into curried chicken instead since my food is always too sweet; notice I said "curried chicken" and not "curry chicken". Unfortunately, I did not follow the recipe. I never do; just use the same items but change the amounts and add other things. Here is the original recipe:
  • 3 pounds of Chicken drumsticks 
  • 1/4  cup of butter
  • 1/4  cup of honey
  • 1 tbsp of mustard
  • 1/2  tsp of salt
  • 1/2  tsp of black pepper
  • 1 tbsp of curry powder

Curried chicken, white rice, 
with string beans and carrots.

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September 8, 2012

Chef M3RLz

My mom is an excellent cook who's been making meals for over 45 years! Our household is known for having visitors who are "in the neighborhood" and happened to "stop by" to see how my mom is doing. Of course, the conversation always includes "I'm hungry; what did you make today".

My mom is a devout Christian woman who strongly believes that sharing is caring. No matter who comes through the door, they have to sit down and eat and 95% of the time that's exactly why they are "in the neighborhood" or have "stopped by" to do.

While our visitors are stuffing their faces eating, they always ask "can you cook as well as your mom?".  My reply has always been "Why are you all up in my business?! I can't cook".

Honestly, I can cook. I just refuse to cook for non-immediate family members. The responsibility of being half as good as my mom is stressful enough without the added anxiety that comes from impressing others. Once I manage to amaze my mom, I can cook for anyone without any hesitation! Trust me.

During my childhood and teenage years, I voluntarily accepted every single corporal punishment unleashed upon me for not wanting to cook. I wore each punishment as a badge of honor. Then I realized that one day I would have a family of my own. One day, but not today. I was in my early 20's when I started learning how to cook and it was only because my boyfriend kept impressing me with his West Indian meals. If a man can cook, why can't I?

Fast forward to my late 20's, when learning to cook moved to the top of my list instead of the bottom. So for the past few years, I've been cooking once a month to showoff my culinary skills. According to my mom, I don't have any. With that being said, it's very frustrating to satisfy someone who thinks all American-style cooking is sub-par and bland. The only dishes that I'm "actually decent" at making is lasagna, spaghetti, and stuffed shells, which are all Italian dishes. "Actually decent" is a good compliment when mumbled by my mom; it means that if we ran out of food and one of her many visitors appeared, she would feel confident enough to serve it to them. But if they get food poisoning, that's their fault for asking to sample my food. (Yes, that was a disclaimer....)

This year, I've been cooking once or twice a week but today I've decided to showcase my food. I don't have anywhere else to post these pictures. It's my blog, so my rooms. Now don't judge me too harshly.

Feta Cheese and Plum Tomato Pasta Salad

Spicy Lemon Shrimp and Roasted Rosemary Potatoes

I like everything well done. "If it ain't burnt, it's not ready yet."
Look out for more food related posts.

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September 5, 2012

Curlkit: Month #4 - September

Whoop whoop! My Curlkit is here!!!

Last month, I made a remark that Curlkit was now playing in the big leagues and boy was I right! Definitely stepping their game up: they're shipping outside of the US and their leaflet, which turned into a pamphlet, has now turned into an 8-paged booklet called Curl Life! This booklet includes hair tips, product information, product reviews, and much more!

Let's get this show on the road!!!!

 Curls Gone Wild:

  • Queen Helena - Royal Curls Moisture Rich Conditioner 
  • Not My Mothers: Knotty To Nice Conditioning Detangler 
  • III Sisters: Natural Lengthening Creme 
  • Lustrasilk - Curlmax Curl Pudding 
  • Twist N Locs: Natural Oil Shampoo 
  • Twist N Locs: Leave-in Conditioner

Two full-sized products and 9 sample products

I'm so excited and can't wait!!!!!! 
Stay tuned for reviews!
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September 1, 2012

Movie List - 8/2012

Any movie that is highlighted should definitely be checked out! Movies that are in bold are considered to be good, but not great.

Movie List - 8/2012


Game of Thrones: Season 1 
 Think Like a Man 
Julie & Julia 
Thin Ice 
Wrath of the Titans 
Silent House 
Bad Ass 
Project X 
The Raid: Redemption 
 Die Hard: With a Vengeance 
Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows 
 Being Flynn 
The Women on the 6th Floor 
The Client

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