Differences between men and women

1. NAMES
If Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara go out for lunch,
they will call each other Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and
Barbara.

If Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom go out, they will affectionately
refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and
Scrappy.

2. EATING OUT
When the bill arrives, Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom will each
throw in a $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of
them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit
they want change back.

When the women get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

3. MONEY
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.

A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need, but
it's on sale.

4. BATHROOMS
A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving
cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Marriott.

The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom
is 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these
items.

5. ARGUMENTS
A woman has the last word in any argument.

Anything a man says after that... is the beginning of a new
argument.

6.CATS
Women love cats.

Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men
kick cats.

7. DRESSING UP
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants,
empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and get
the mail.

A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

8. FUTURE
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

9. SUCCESS
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife
can spend.

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

10. MARRIAGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he
doesn't.

A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and
she does.

Source: www.laffaday.com

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A wife and her husband attended a very important business
party thrown by her boss where the husband may have had one
or two more than he should have.

On the way home from the party, the woman said to her
husband, "Have I ever told you how handsome and sexy and
totally irresistible to all women you are?"

"Why no," said the husband, deeply flattered.

"Then what gave you that idea at the party?!" she yelled.

Source: www.laffaday.com
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The Black Poetry Cafe

There are a lot of status updates on face.book but only one of my friends is always on point. He is an author, poet, spoken word artist, activist, and owner of one of the most recognized names in the poetry site world, THE BLACK POETRY CAFE. I consider him a breath of fresh air and his latest status left me in awe once again:

"Just as a good mother doesn't allow her child to eat the sweet dessert before he gets his nutrients from the main course, a good woman doesn't allow a man to indulge in her sweet lovin' until he gets acquainted with her nutrients in the form of her mind, heart, and soul."

If you liked what you've just read, definitely check out THE BLACK POETRY CAFE.
Better yet, you should join today!

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While perusing different sites, I happen to read part of an interview given by First Lady Michelle Obama, who was featured on Glamour magazine.

"Cute’s good. But cute only lasts for so long, and then it’s, Who are you as a person? That’s the advice I would give to women: Don’t look at the bankbook or the title. Look at the heart. Look at the soul. Look at how the guy treats his mother and what he says about women. How he acts with children he doesn’t know. And, more important, how does he treat you? When you’re dating a man, you should always feel good. You should never feel less than. You should never doubt yourself. You shouldn’t be in a relationship with somebody who doesn’t make you completely happy and make you feel whole. And if you’re in that relationship and you’re dating, then my advice is, don’t get married.”

I know I'm late in posting this but I just had to share it with all of my readers.

The First Lady hit the nail right on the head. This sounds exactly like the advice that my mom has been constantly drumming into my head throughout the years.

• "If a man doesn't respect his mother, he probably won't respect you."
• "You can tell what kind of man he is, based on how he treats the waiter."
• "How does he react when people, who are less fortunate, ask him for food or change?"

What kind of advice have you received regarding relationships?

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SPOTS AND STRIPES

Written by Patti Woosley

When you marry a Tiger
You gotta love stripes
Cause it’s his stripes you will see
when you climb into bed very night
No, you won’t ever change ‘em
no matter how hard you try
and your Tiger will have stripes
till the day that he dies

But if you married a Leopard
He will always have spots
So you had just better learn
to love what you’ve got
Cause you won’t ever change ‘em
no matter how hard you try
and your Leopard will stay spotted
Why would you ask why?

If you fantasize a soft kitten
curling up in your lap
the Porcupine you married
Will never do that
But if you try to change him
you surely will cry
So love your little Porcupine
and kiss the fantasy goodbye

Stop always wanting
What he ain’t got
and stop trying to change him
into something he’s not
Just be sure that you love him
the way that he tis
Tiger, Leopard, or Porcupine
He is, what he is.

(Source)


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Pick Up Lines

Lines that made me smile or laugh.
Have you heard or said any of the following?

• Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?
• Can I take a picture of you, so I can show Santa just what I want for Christmas.
• Do you have any raisins? No? How about a date?
• I was blinded by your beauty so I'm going to need your name and number for
• insurance reasons.
• I'm sorry, were you talking to me? Her: No. Well then, please start.
• Hey I just realized this, but you look alot like my next girlfriend.
• Do you have the time? (she gives you the time) No, the time to write my number down .
• Apart from being sexy, what do you do for a living?
• I'm invisible. (Really?) Can you see me? (Yes) How about tomorrow night?
• Turn to the girl sitting next to you at the bar and say... "I'm not really this tall....I'm sitting on my wallet."
• I know I'm not a grocery item but I can tell when you're checking me out.
• Do you mind if I hang out here until its safe back where I farted.
• I'm like chocolate pudding, I look like crap but im as sweet as can be.
• Do you have a Bandaid? Because I just scraped my knee falling for you.
• Hi, I'm Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me.
• Giant polar bear (What?) It's an icebreaker. Hi, my name is....
• I don't know if you're beautiful or not, I haven't gotten past your eyes yet.

11 Things Women Don't Know About Men

11 Things Women Don't Know About Men


1. Getting angry at us for not reading your mind is like getting angry at yourself for not being able to fly. It's not just futile, it's physically impossible.


2. Yes, we do think Jessica Alba is hot. Sometimes we're even dumb enough to admit it.


3. Don't ask us to understand your shoe fetish. Asking us to respect it is even sort of pushing it.


4. You do look good without makeup, just not as good as you look with it.


5. Ever notice how we don't fight with our male friends? That's why we get so frustrated when we fight with you.


6. You care what you're wearing infinitely more than we do. In fact, if you're naked when you open the front door, you won't hear an argument from us.


7. You don't like to get hit on in public, you don't want to date online and you don't want to be set up on blind dates. Tell us if sending messenger pigeons is an appropriate way of courting. Because if it is, we're all over it.


8. There should a statute of limitations on stupid things that we said that can come back to haunt us. I propose 24 hours.


9. Cooking dinner for a man is like buying flowers for a woman, except it takes a lot more time, effort and thought for you to do it. Thanks. We appreciate it.


10. We actually like your girly pet-names for us, but please, not in front of the guys!


11. Just because we like looking at the women in Maxim doesn't mean we want to actually converse with the women in Maxim. Not for long, anyway.


12. Your nice guy friends are the most reliable source for telling you if your new boyfriend's a jerk. And he probably is. (By the way, you might want to consider marrying that nice guy who's giving you advice about the jerk.)


Source: http://dating.personals.yahoo.com

Grown Women

* Girls want to control the man in their life.
* Grown women know that if he's truly hers, he doesn't need controlling.


* Girls check you for not calling them.
* Grown women are too busy to realize you hadn't.


* Girls are afraid to be alone.
* Grown women revel in it-using it as a time for personal growth.


* Girls ignore the good guys.
* Grown women ignore the bad guys.


* Girls make you come home.
* Grown women make you want to come home.


* Girls leave their schedule wide-open and wait for a guy to call and make plans.
* Grown women make their own plans and nicely tell the guy to get in where he fits.


* Girls worry about not being pretty and/or good enough for their man.
* Grown women know that they are pretty and/or good enough for any man..


* Girls try to monopolize all their man's time (i.e., don't want him hanging with his friends).
* Grown women realize that a lil' bit of space makes the 'together time' even more special-and goes to kick it with her own friends.


* Girls think a guy crying is weak.
* Grown women offer their shoulder and a tissue.


* Girls want to be spoiled and 'tell' their man so.
* Grown women 'show' him and make him comfortable enough to reciprocate without fear of losing his 'manhood'.


* Girls get hurt by one man and make all men pay for it.
* Grown women know that was just one man.


* Girls fall in love and chase aimlessly after the object of their affection, ignoring all 'signs'.
* Grown women know that sometimes the one you love, don't always love you back and move on, without bitterness.


* Girls will read this and get an attitude.
* Grown women will read this and pass it on to other Grown women and their male friends.

Source: Unknown