September 29, 2010

GROWING UP...

Your best friend becomes your worst enemy.
Lollipops turn into cigarettes.
The innocent ones turn into sluts.
Homework goes in the trash.
Detention becomes suspension.
Soda becomes vodka.
Undies turn into g-strings and boxers.
Kisses turn into sex.
Remember when getting high meant swinging on the playground?
When protection meant wearing a helmet?
When the worst things you could get from girls/boys were cooties?
Your worst enemies were your siblings.
Race issues were about who ran fastest.
War was only a card game.
The only drug you knew was cough medicine.
Wearing a skirt didn't make you a slut.
The only things that hurt were skinned knees.
And goodbyes only meant until tomorrow?
...and to think we all couldn't wait to grow up!


Source: Unknown

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September 28, 2010

A drunk gets up from the bar and heads for the bathroom.

A few minutes later, a loud, blood-curdling scream is heard
minutes after that, another loud scream reverberates through
the bar.

The bartender goes into the bathroom to investigate why the
drunk is screaming.
"What's all the screaming in there? You're scaring the customers!"

"I'm just sitting here on the toilet and every time I try to
flush, something comes up and squeezes my testicles."

With that, the bartender opens the door, looks in and says,
"You Idiot! You're sitting on the mop bucket!"

Source: www.laffaday.com

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September 25, 2010

Law of the Garbage Truck


One day I hopped in a taxi and we took off for the airport.

We were driving in the right lane when suddenly a black car jumped out of a parking space right in front of us. My taxi driver slammed on his brakes, skidded and missed the other car by just inches!

The driver of the other car whipped his head around and started yelling at us.
My taxi driver just smiled and waved at the guy. And I mean he was really friendly.

So I asked, “why did you just do that? This guy almost ruined your car and sent us both to the hospital!” This is when my taxi driver taught me the ‘law of the garbage truck’.

He explained that many people are like garbage trucks. They run around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger, and full of disappointment. As their garbage piles up, they need a place to dump it and sometimes they dump it on you. Don’t take it personally. Smile, wave, wish them well and move on. Don’t take their garbage and spread it to other people at work, at home, or on the streets.

The bottom line is that successful people do not let garbage trucks take over their day. Life is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets. So… love the people who treat you right, forget the ones who don’t.

Life is 10% what you make it and 90% how you take it!

Have a blessed garbage-free day!

A smile is a light in the window of the soul indicating the heart is at home.


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September 15, 2010

99% of ppl you will never want to meet in college

Read this very funny email post called "99% of ppl you will never want to meet in college" and wanted to share it with my readers. After I published this looooooooooooooooong post (that comes out to 26 pages, 11,364 words, & 1,167 lines, according to Microsoft Word :D), I realized that even I wouldn't want to read it, so I decided to break it into 17 parts. You can click on the link below to read them all.

BTW - This one post, divided into 17 sections took me 3+ hours to do, so please read at least 3. Gracias!

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Part 6
Part 7
Part 8
Part 9
Part 10
Part 11
Part 12
Part 13
Part 14
Part 15
Part 16
Part 17


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Ten Reasons To Be A Vegetarian

(From http://www.vegecyber.com/others/about_vegetarianism.shtml)


Hunger

Number of people worldwide who will die as a result of malnutrition this year: 20 million.
Number of people who could be adequately fed using land freed if Americans reduced
their intake of meat by 10%: 100 million.
Percentage of corn grown in the U.S. eaten by livestock: 80.
Percentage of oats grown in the U.S. eaten by livestock: 95.
How frequently a child dies as a result of malnutrition: every 2.3 seconds.
Pounds of potatoes that can be grown on an acre: 40,000.
Pounds of beef produced on an acre: 250.
Percentage of U.S. farmland devoted to beef production: 56.
Pounds of grain and soybeans needed to produce a pound of beef: 16.

Environmental

Primary cause of greenhouse effect: carbon dioxide emissions from fossil fuels Fossil fuels needed to produce meat-centered diet vs. a meat-free diet: 3 times more . Percentage of U.S. topsoil lost to date: 75. Percentage of U.S. topsoil loss directly related to livestock raising: 85.
Number of acres of U.S. forest cleared for cropland to produce meat-centered diet: 260 million. Area of tropical rainforest consumed in every quarter-pound of rainforest beef: 55 sq. feet. Current rate of species extinction due to destruction of tropical rainforests for meat grazing and other uses: 1,000 per year.

Cancer

Increased risk of breast cancer for women who eat meat daily compared to less than
once a week: 3.8 times. For women who eat eggs daily compared to once a week: 2.8 times. Increased risk of fatal ovarian cancer for women who eat eggs 3 or more times a week vs. less than once a week: 3 times. Increased risk of fatal prostate cancer for men who consume meat, cheese, eggs and milk daily vs. sparingly or not at all: 3.6 times.

Cholesterol

Most common cause of death in the U.S.: heart attack.
How frequently a heart attack kills in the U.S.: every 45 seconds.
Average U.S. man's risk of death from heart attack: 50 percent.
Risk of average U.S. man who eats no meat, dairy or eggs: 4 percent.
Amount you reduce risk if you eliminate meat, dairy and eggs from your diet: 90 percent
Average cholesterol level of people eating meat-centered-diet: 210 mg/dl.
Chance of dying from heart disease if you are male and your blood cholesterol level is
210 mg/dl: greater than 50 percent.

Natural Resources

User of more than half of all water used for all purposes in the U.S.: livestock production.
Gallons of water needed to produce a pound of wheat: 25.
Gallons of water needed to produce a pound of California beef: 5,000.
Years the world's known oil reserves would last if every human ate a meat-centered diet:13.
Years they would last if human beings no longer ate meat: 260.
Calories of fossil fuel expended to get 1 calory of protein from beef: 78.
To get 1 calory of protein from soybeans: 2.

Antibiotic

Ingredients: Any one of our instant noodles, fresh vegetables (if you don't have fresh
veggies handy, then our Just Corn and Just Veggies are just as good), Roasted Seaweed (optional), Wei-I Best Grade Laver Ro Su (bacon bits) (optional) and any of our frozen gourmet.

Percentage of U.S. antibiotics fed to livestock: 55.
Percentage of staphylococci infections resistant to penicillin in 1960: 13.
Percentage resistant in 1988: 91.
Response of European Economic Community to routine feeding of antibiotics to livestock: ban.
Response of U.S. meat and pharmaceutical industries to routine feeding of antibiotics to livestock: full and complete support.

Pesticide

Fewer than 1 out of every 250,000 slaughtered animals is tested for toxic chemical
residues.
Percentage of U.S. mother's milk containing significant levels of DDT: 99.
Percentage of U.S. vegetarian mother's milk containing significant levels of DDT: 8.
Contamination of breast milk, due to chlorinated hydrocarbon pesticides in animal
products, found in meat-eating mothers vs. non-meat eating mothers: 35 times higher.

Ethics

Number of animals killed for meat per hour in the U.S.: 660,000.
Occupation with the highest turnover rate in U.S.: slaughterhouse worker.
Occupation with the highest rate of on-the-job-injury in U.S.: slaughterhouse worker.

Spiritual Consciousness

Food is the source of the body's chemistry, and what we ingest affects our consciousness, emotions and experiential pattern. If we want to live in higher consciousness, in peace and happiness and love for all creatures, then we should
consider not eating meat, fish, shellfish, fowl or eggs.

Karmic Consequences

Major religions around the world such as Buddhism or Hinduism teach that all of our actions including our choice of food have karmic consequences. By involving oneself in the cycle of inflicting injury, pain and death, even indirectly by eating other creatures, one must in the future experience in equal measure the suffering caused.

Source: http://www.vegecyber.com/others/about_vegetarianism.shtml


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September 13, 2010

Beauty of Mathematics !!!!!!!

1 x 8 + 1 = 9
12 x 8 + 2 = 98
123 x 8 + 3 = 987
1234 x 8 + 4 = 9876
12345 x 8 + 5 = 98765
123456 x 8 + 6 = 987654
1234567 x 8 + 7 = 9876543
12345678 x 8 + 8 = 98765432
123456789 x 8 + 9 = 987654321

1 x 9 + 2 = 11
12 x 9 + 3 = 111
123 x 9 + 4 = 1111
1234 x 9 + 5 = 11111
12345 x 9 + 6 = 111111
123456 x 9 + 7 = 1111111
1234567 x 9 + 8 = 11111111
12345678 x 9 + 9 = 111111111
123456789 x 9 +10= 1111111111

9 x 9 + 7 = 88
98 x 9 + 6 = 888
987 x 9 + 5 = 8888
9876 x 9 + 4 = 88888
98765 x 9 + 3 = 888888
987654 x 9 + 2 = 8888888
9876543 x 9 + 1 = 88888888
98765432 x 9 + 0 = 888888888

Brilliant, isn't it?

And look at this symmetry:

1 x 1 = 1
11 x 11 = 121
111 x 111 = 12321
1111 x 1111 = 1234321
11111 x 11111 = 123454321
111111 x 111111 = 12345654321
1111111 x 1111111 = 1234567654321
11111111 x 11111111 = 123456787654321
111111111 x 111111111 = 12345678987654321



Now, take a look at this...


101%


From a strictly mathematical viewpoint:

What Equals 100%?
What does it mean to give MORE than 100%?

Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%?

We have all been in situations where someone wants you to GIVE OVER 100%.

How about ACHIEVING 101%?

What equals 100% in life?

Here's a little mathematical formula that might help answer these questions:

If:

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Is represented as:

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

If:

H-A-R-D-W-O- R- K

8+1+18+4+23+ 15+18+11 = 98%

And:

K-N-O-W-L-E- D-G-E

11+14+15+23+ 12+5+4+7+ 5 = 96%

But:

A-T-T-I-T-U- D-E

1+20+20+9+20+ 21+4+5 = 100%

THEN, look how far the love of God will take you:

L-O-V-E-O-F- G-O-D

12+15+22+5+15+ 6+7+15+4 = 101%

Therefore, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that:

While Hard Work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will
get you there, It's the Love of God that will put you over the top!


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September 4, 2010

"Researchers at Johns Hopkins University are predicting that
75 percent of Americans will be overweight by the year 2015.
But my fellow Americans, with a little team work, I think
we can do it by the end of 2010. USA! USA!" - Conan O'Brien

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September 1, 2010

My First Time

I recall my first time with a condom, I was 16 or so.

I went in to buy a packet of condoms at the corner pharmacy.
There was this beautiful woman assistant behind the counter,
and she could see that I was new at it.

She handed me the package and asked if I knew how to wear one.

I honestly answered, 'No, this is my first time.' So she
unwrapped the package, took one out and slipped it over her
thumb. She cautioned me to make sure it was on tight and
secure. I apparently still looked confused. So she looked
all around the store to see if it was empty. It was empty.

'Just a minute,' she said, and walked to the door, and locked
it.

Taking my hand, she led me into the back room, unbuttoned her
blouse and removed it. She unhooked her bra and laid it aside.
'Do these excite you?' She asked. Well, I was so dumb-struck
that all I could do was nod my head. She then said it was
time to slip the condom on.

As I was slipping it on, she dropped her skirt, removed her
panties and lay down on a desk. 'Well, come on', she said,
'We don't have much time.'

So I climbed on her. It was so wonderful, that unfortunately,
I could no longer hold back and KAPOW, I was done within a
few minutes.

She looked at me with a bit of a frown. 'Did you put that
condom on?' she asked.

I said, 'I sure did,' and held up my thumb to show her.

She fainted.


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My First Time

I recall my first time with a condom, I was 16 or so.

I went in to buy a packet of condoms at the corner pharmacy.
There was this beautiful woman assistant behind the counter,
and she could see that I was new at it.

She handed me the package and asked if I knew how to wear one.

I honestly answered, 'No, this is my first time.' So she
unwrapped the package, took one out and slipped it over her
thumb. She cautioned me to make sure it was on tight and
secure. I apparently still looked confused. So she looked
all around the store to see if it was empty. It was empty.

'Just a minute,' she said, and walked to the door, and locked
it.

Taking my hand, she led me into the back room, unbuttoned her
blouse and removed it. She unhooked her bra and laid it aside.
'Do these excite you?' She asked. Well, I was so dumb-struck
that all I could do was nod my head. She then said it was
time to slip the condom on.

As I was slipping it on, she dropped her skirt, removed her
panties and lay down on a desk. 'Well, come on', she said,
'We don't have much time.'

So I climbed on her. It was so wonderful, that unfortunately,
I could no longer hold back and KAPOW, I was done within a
few minutes.

She looked at me with a bit of a frown. 'Did you put that
condom on?' she asked.

I said, 'I sure did,' and held up my thumb to show her.

She fainted.


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Movie List - 8/2010

Since I forgot about this section of my blog, I decided to forgo the rating system and just list the movies that I've watched during that particular month. Any movie that is highlighted should definitely be checked out! Movies that are in bold are considered to be good, but not great. (6/27/2011)



Movie List - 8/2010

_________

The White Ribbon
Tyler Perry's Why Did I Get Married Too?
Fast Food Nation
Fargo
Clash of the Titans
Repo Men
Life Support
The Game: Season 3
The Losers
Cop Out
Triage
Gamer
Our Family Wedding
Death at a Funeral (2010)
After.Life
Mother
Kick-Ass


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