March 28, 2007

99% of ppl - Part 15

Part 15

The guy/girl who's too cool for romance, and has to insult every couple that passes their way. Whether staring, snickering, or outright making an idiotic comment, the love-hater somehow tries to be "different" by not looking for an opportunity to pass on their genes. Needless to say, these types are usually at home practicing their five-knuckle shuffle.


These people are ninjas in disguise, often lurking amongst the normal people. They seem nice at first, but when they come to the part of the discussion of majors, the inevitable question of "What are you going to do with that?" comes up. Usually in a patronizing tone, they also carry shiruken... too bad that the weapons are so far up their a$es that they can't utilize them.


The chubby idiot in the back of the classes, busy bragging about the amazing three pointer he pulled in a game with the boys. However, if studied in its natural habitat, the Wanna-be Jock can be seen getting the only sports exposure from a video game console. NOTE: If encountering one of these during its ritualistic video gaming, beware of celebrations. They often involve screaming and waving when they get an extra point on Madden NFL.


Found in most of the female population in college settings, the Ying-Yangers are those who, if approached by someone athletic, will swoon and bend to their every whim. However, if approached by someone of the least bit imperfection, the Ying-Yanger will sneer in disgust... if providing a reaction at all.


Black trench coat. Few words. Odd knowledge about weapons. And somehow, he always seems to sit next to you in class.


The apathetic genius is the pinnacle of wasted potential. He shows up to most of his classes, and is minorly sociable. He is involved in class discussions but will never write a single page of notes, never does any extra credit or optional assignments, and never even reads the textbook or studies. Despite this he will consistently get A's and B's in every class he takes, all while exerting no apparent effort. This person probably has the ability to cure cancer some day, but years of being unchallenged and socially shunned will lead him to drop out after his first or second year.


Everywhere you go, this guy knows somebody he has to high five and chat with for a little bit. He probably grew up in the area, has an outgoing personality, and is involved in a wide variety of activities that breach many social circles. Generally liked, although he may be too outgoing for some people. Generally doesn't have a lot of close friends, but makes up for it in sheer volume. This is the guy to talk to if you're interested in a new hobby, want to join a club, or just want to meet new people. May do incredibly outrageous things to get even more attention.


The R.A. lives to fuck up your social life. Lurking behind every dark shadow; The R.A. springs to action and stomps out any signs of fun, ranging from a friendly game of Bingo to a raging smorgasbord orgy. This guy, often hated by many feels because he is getting free housing owes it to his said college to annoy all with his passive –aggressive confrontational vendetta against all on campus students. All that is missing is a whistle, and a safety badge. Often useless, The R.A. does come in handy when the PHILOSOPHER STONER, JOHNNY FRAT BOY - or - SALLY SORORITY CHICK locks themselves out at 4am.

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