March 28, 2007

99% of ppl - Part 14

Part 14
THE REDNECK

The redneck managed to get into the college because he went to a backwoods school composed entirely of trailers in a swamp, where 4.0 gpa's are a dime a dozen, and anyone can pass the classes practically by attending. Unfortunately, he is probably going to fail multiple classes in a semester and drop out soon. Unattractive, disgusting hygiene, has a taste for inferior websites, loves to hunt, sometimes wears camouflage to class, attends every athletic event, and likes to "Git-R-Dun" occasionally. Nothing more than a friendly nuisance on his own, he is a very dangerous animal in the company of others exactly the same.

I STUDIED ABROAD AND IT CHANGED MY LIFE

This person has spent anywhere from 3-12 months in a country that isn't too different from our own, but it's sooo much better. It's so cultured and you can drink without having the draconian American laws over your back. Most of this student's stories involve getting drunk and hooking up with a creepy older gentleman or passing out on the couch interspersed with some sightseeing. But it changed her life, like OMG i totally know how people in other countries live and I'll keep talking and talking and talking about it.

QUIET SMART SLACKER

Normally found in one of the back rows but not the very back as he is trying to blend in. Doesn't say much in class, only being social when he has to or with people he knows outside of class. Won't disrupt class but if called on will answer correctly. Pays attention, but doesn't always do work, or work hard. Shows up to class 80% of the time, but does 40% of the outside work/study time. Graduates in 5-6 years with a 3.0 but only because of intelligence and test scores, not effort (as shown in number of years taken to graduate).

THE ANNOYING CLONE

This is a person you meet in the class that you share the same interests and hobbies. At first you enjoy talking and hanging out with them, but then all they do is constantly talk about the same interests and never want to talk about anything else, and every day they want to hang out after class and do something related to the point it drives you insane. In the end you end up hating both the person, and what you enjoyed.

THE CONVERTER

This guy or gal is a shining beacon of their Religion, and will attempt to bring it to light every chance they get, and attempt to get you to believe in whatever it is they believe. Anytime your classes mention faith, she is the first to preach to the entire class, and say that her deity is what everyone needs to follow.

THE HERETIC

Exact opposite of The Converter, this person hates all forms of Religion and despises God. Used to be devoted to a faith, but lost his or her faith through some event in the past, such as a major physical/psychological trauma. This person loves to quote John Milton, and argue with others who believe in God.

THE COMPUTER DUMMY

Cannot use a computer or any technology to save their life. This person will rely on you to help them type up reports, assignments, or use excel/power point/access for projects. Will also become dazzled if they see you playing any kind of video game or watching a DVD in your dorm, and will want to learn more about it.

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