Part 13
DRAMA NERD
Often found roaming (or more often loafing) in packs of 4 to 7, the drama nerd is best known for not shutting the fuck up ever and oh god i mean ever regarding new musicals, old musicals, how non-theater majors are intellectually devoid of any redeeming quality, who got cast where, etc. The drama nerd is mostly self-delusional, and if one is to ask it about it's past, the response often involves "well you know I just had the WORST time in high school i mean nobody understood me there but when I got to college I just felt like a BUTTERFLY, able to finally open my creative WINGS" and other such inane metaphors. The Drama nerd does, somehow, get laid all the goddamn time, but only by other Drama nerds, resulting in chain-reaction mega-drama-bombs that will certainly resonate throughout the school because these losers will not shut up about how Johnny Actor face "TOTALLY USED ME" at high volumes in the library during finals week. Somehow possessing both the largest and smallest reserve of self-confidence of any college student simultaneously, ladies and gentlemen: the Drama Nerd.
THE CONVERSATIONALIST
You'll find this one at the back of the class, and they tend to travel in herds. She spends all semester having conversations with the people around her, that have absolutely nothing to do with the class, usually pertaining to her boyfriend, a movie she just saw, or a party she was at/plans to attend. Completely ignorant of the people around her who are actually trying to pay attention to the lecture in a typically difficult subject. Another common trait of The Conversationalist is her apparent lack of any sort of school supplies (including pens, pencils, paper, and the freaking textbook) Sociologists have theorized that this is a subconscious ploy designed to draw more people into The Conversationalist's tangled web of distraction.
THE FACULTY MEMBER
This is a student who has become very involved and uses his major as a replacement for a social life. He may, or may not work in the department office, but you'll see him wandering around the office anyway, chatting up the actual faculty. Maybe having lunch in the waiting area. He's only annoying when you actually have a class with him and he takes on the role of a teaching assistant.
THE JACKASS OF ALL TRADES
This man is seemingly adept in all subjects, and will boast about it too. Hear him complain about how easy his last Abstract Algebra exam was, how he wrote his African paper two hours before its due and how little he prepared for his sociology presentation. His weakness is poor social skills. Ask about his girlfriend for massive emotional baggage!
PHILOSOPHER STONER
Easily identifiable by his red eyes, incoherent speech, and the lingering stench of marijuana, the philosopher stoner may or may not be a member of NORML, and probably won't go to class very often. On the off chance that he actually attends a class, god forbid the professor mention anything related to drugs, because suddenly the philosopher stoner will turn into a walking, talking version of erowid.com.
I'M TOO IMPORTANT TO BE HERE GIRL
This girl is much too busy to do something as menial as class. She's in a sorority, she's in the student senate and she's got a boyfriend on the lacrosse team. She treats class like it's a bother- much like a PTA meeting. During the entire class period, her blistered thumbs are hammering at the tiny keys on her super expensive new cell phone that Daddy's bought her three times because she keeps wearing it out. Whenever the professor asks her to stop her hammering, her face curls up worse than Reese Witherspoon's after eating out an asshole.
DEER IN HEADLIGHT CHICK
Normally, she's quiet. She's so quiet she'll duck down when the professor looks to ask questions. The second she's called on to give a speech, her entire body tenses up. Very rarely will a word escape her mouth that's not "Uhhh" or "Like". She's known for freezing up for periods of greater than one minute during in-class presentations, much to everyone else's amusement.
THE SNIPER
This is the kid, usually a male, who sits in the back of the class and will constantly spout out smart ass remarks at the professor in an attempt to act like he really doesn't really care for the class and thinks he is super cool cause he can be so disrespectful in class. But this guy is important cause when the class starts dragging and getting boring, he can usually lighten the mood. Annoying and funny at the same time.
Often found roaming (or more often loafing) in packs of 4 to 7, the drama nerd is best known for not shutting the fuck up ever and oh god i mean ever regarding new musicals, old musicals, how non-theater majors are intellectually devoid of any redeeming quality, who got cast where, etc. The drama nerd is mostly self-delusional, and if one is to ask it about it's past, the response often involves "well you know I just had the WORST time in high school i mean nobody understood me there but when I got to college I just felt like a BUTTERFLY, able to finally open my creative WINGS" and other such inane metaphors. The Drama nerd does, somehow, get laid all the goddamn time, but only by other Drama nerds, resulting in chain-reaction mega-drama-bombs that will certainly resonate throughout the school because these losers will not shut up about how Johnny Actor face "TOTALLY USED ME" at high volumes in the library during finals week. Somehow possessing both the largest and smallest reserve of self-confidence of any college student simultaneously, ladies and gentlemen: the Drama Nerd.
THE CONVERSATIONALIST
You'll find this one at the back of the class, and they tend to travel in herds. She spends all semester having conversations with the people around her, that have absolutely nothing to do with the class, usually pertaining to her boyfriend, a movie she just saw, or a party she was at/plans to attend. Completely ignorant of the people around her who are actually trying to pay attention to the lecture in a typically difficult subject. Another common trait of The Conversationalist is her apparent lack of any sort of school supplies (including pens, pencils, paper, and the freaking textbook) Sociologists have theorized that this is a subconscious ploy designed to draw more people into The Conversationalist's tangled web of distraction.
THE FACULTY MEMBER
This is a student who has become very involved and uses his major as a replacement for a social life. He may, or may not work in the department office, but you'll see him wandering around the office anyway, chatting up the actual faculty. Maybe having lunch in the waiting area. He's only annoying when you actually have a class with him and he takes on the role of a teaching assistant.
THE JACKASS OF ALL TRADES
This man is seemingly adept in all subjects, and will boast about it too. Hear him complain about how easy his last Abstract Algebra exam was, how he wrote his African paper two hours before its due and how little he prepared for his sociology presentation. His weakness is poor social skills. Ask about his girlfriend for massive emotional baggage!
PHILOSOPHER STONER
Easily identifiable by his red eyes, incoherent speech, and the lingering stench of marijuana, the philosopher stoner may or may not be a member of NORML, and probably won't go to class very often. On the off chance that he actually attends a class, god forbid the professor mention anything related to drugs, because suddenly the philosopher stoner will turn into a walking, talking version of erowid.com.
I'M TOO IMPORTANT TO BE HERE GIRL
This girl is much too busy to do something as menial as class. She's in a sorority, she's in the student senate and she's got a boyfriend on the lacrosse team. She treats class like it's a bother- much like a PTA meeting. During the entire class period, her blistered thumbs are hammering at the tiny keys on her super expensive new cell phone that Daddy's bought her three times because she keeps wearing it out. Whenever the professor asks her to stop her hammering, her face curls up worse than Reese Witherspoon's after eating out an asshole.
DEER IN HEADLIGHT CHICK
Normally, she's quiet. She's so quiet she'll duck down when the professor looks to ask questions. The second she's called on to give a speech, her entire body tenses up. Very rarely will a word escape her mouth that's not "Uhhh" or "Like". She's known for freezing up for periods of greater than one minute during in-class presentations, much to everyone else's amusement.
THE SNIPER
This is the kid, usually a male, who sits in the back of the class and will constantly spout out smart ass remarks at the professor in an attempt to act like he really doesn't really care for the class and thinks he is super cool cause he can be so disrespectful in class. But this guy is important cause when the class starts dragging and getting boring, he can usually lighten the mood. Annoying and funny at the same time.
~ღ♥ღ~ Don't forget to comment and subscribe! Thanks in advance! ~ღ♥ღ~
No comments:
Post a Comment