December 27, 2010

Hey, since we're now living in the time of e-mail (and blogs and texts and Tweets) and the more common use of the written language, it is time for an English lesson.

So, with tongue firmly in cheek, here are some rules to keep in mind when using the Queen's Engerlish:

1. Verbs has to agree with their subjects.

2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.

3. And don't start a sentence with a conjunction.

4. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.

5. Avoid cliches like the plague. (They're old hat).

6. Always avoid annoying alliteration.

7. Be more or less specific.

8. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually) unnecessary.

9. Also, too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies.

10. No sentence fragments. No comma splices, run-ons are bad too.

11. Contractions aren't helpful and shouldn't be used.

12. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.

13. Do not be redundant; do not use more words than necessary; it's highly superfluous.

14. One should never generalize.

15. Comparisons are as bad as cliches.

16. Don't use no double negatives.

17. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.

18. One-word sentences? Eliminate.

19. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.

20. The passive voice is to be ignored.

21. Eliminate commas, that are, not necessary. Parenthetical words however should be enclosed in commas.

22. Never use a big word when a diminutive one would suffice.

23. Kill all exclamation points!!!!

24. Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.

25. Understatement is probably not the best way to propose earth shattering ideas.

26. Use the apostrophe in it's proper place and omit it when its not needed.

27. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know."

28. If you've heard it once, you've heard it a thousand times: resist hyperbole; not one writer in a million can use it correctly.

29. Puns are for children, not groan readers.

30. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.

31. Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.

32. Who needs rhetorical questions?

33. Exaggeration is a million times worse than understatement.

34. Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.
Source: laffaday.com

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December 16, 2010

Last month a world-wide survey was conducted by the UN.

The only question asked was: "Would you please give your
honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the
rest of the world?"

The survey was a huge failure because of the following:

1. In Eastern Europe they didn't know what "honest" meant.

2. In Western Europe they didn't know what "shortage" meant.

3. In Africa they didn't know what "food" meant.

4. In China they didn't know what "opinion" meant.

5. In the Middle East they didn't know what "solution" meant.

6. In South America they didn't know what "please" meant.

7. In the US they didn't know what "the rest of the world" meant.

8. In UK they hung up as soon as they heard the Indian accent.

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December 1, 2010

Movie List - 11/2010

Since I forgot about this section of my blog, I decided to forgo the rating system and just list the movies that I've watched during that particular month. Any movie that is highlighted should definitely be checked out! Movies that are in bold are considered to be good, but not great. (6/27/2011)



Movie List - 11/2010

_________

Management
Babylon A.D.
Madea's Big Happy Family: The Play
The Expendables
Deadly Voyage
Leaves of Grass
Shaq & Cedric the Entertainer Present...
The Exorcist 3
Martin
Mirrors 2
The Last Airbender
Rescue Dawn
The Girl Who Played with Fire
Antichrist
The Butterfly Effect 2
The Square
The Karate Kid
Fighting


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November 4, 2010

A man was sitting on the sofa watching TV when he heard his wife's voice from the kitchen.

"What would you like for dinner, Love? Chicken, beef or lamb?"

He said, "Thank you, I'll have chicken."

"Fuck You," she called back. "You're having soup. I was talking to the dog!"

Source: Laffaday.com
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November 1, 2010

Movie List - 10/2010

Since I forgot about this section of my blog, I decided to forgo the rating system and just list the movies that I've watched during that particular month. Any movie that is highlighted should definitely be checked out! Movies that are in bold are considered to be good, but not great. (6/27/2011)



Movie List - 10/2010

_________

The Innocents
The Hamiltons
The Experiment
The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo
Penny Dreadful
The Exorcist: The Extended Director's Cut
My Name is Khan
Hachi: A Dog's Tale
Sunny in Philadelphia: Season 5
From Within
Robin Hood
A Haunting: Seasons 1 & 2
The Burrowers
Just Wright
Lake Placid
Cassandra's Dream
MacGruber
30 Days of Night: Dark Days
The Human Centipede: First Sequence


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October 28, 2010

First, I was dying to finish high school and start college...
And then I was dying to finish college and start work...
Then I was dying to marry and have children...
And then I was dying for my children to grow old enough so I could go back to work...
But then I was dying to retire...
And now I am dying…
And suddenly I realized I forgot to live...

Appreciate your current situation and enjoy each day.

To make money we lose our health,
And then to restore our health we lose our money..
We live as if we are never going to die,
And we die as if we never lived….

Life is very short, so break your silly ego, forgive quickly, believe slowly,
love truly, laugh loudly & never avoid anything that makes you smile.

Source: Unknown

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October 19, 2010

"Bet you just can't stop at one..."

I'm kind of addicted to many of the game applications on Facebook. Honestly? You can replace "kind of" with "very". LOL

It's actually not my fault! It started with Mafia Wars, but all of my friends were also playing Farmville and needed more people to join to get more points and rewards. After joining Farmville, I added Cafe World, then Make A Baby, followed by Yoville, Pet Pupz, Family Feud, Treasure Isle, My Tribe, Uno, and finally The Price Is Right. These applications are like gum: the more you try to peel them out of your life, the more stuck you get. Hmmm maybe it's more like glue.... either way, My name is MღRLz and I'm a Facebook application addict. :help:

The reason for this post is because of my recent win on Family Feud, not the real live game, but the Facebook application.

"Congratulations! You won the +500 Points award!
You also won a Over 200 In Fast Money Alone award, a Top Fast Money Answers award, and a Top Game Answers award!! Utterly Amazing!"

If they gave out real awards, I would have definitely won today! No competition! I know I'm such a dweeb! I know, I know!!!!!!! :afro:

Anyway, I managed to get 652 points by myself, then 313 on the Fast Money Round. Is that a new record?
It should be!

Let me break it down for you: During the Fast Money round, you have to answer 5 questions, within 20 seconds. In order for me to get 300+ points, it means that not only did I get every question right, but I also got the #1 answer all 5 times!!! Did your jaw just drop? Because I know mine did!

In any case, I am so proud of myself for achieving this "utterly amazing" score. I'm so awesome! Now bow down to the Family Feud Queen! *pats back*

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*** Update: After months *cough* or years *cough* of being addicted,
I no longer play Yoville, Mafia Wars, Pet Pupz, and My Tribe. I never liked Uno.

October 11, 2010

Hair Pics

Here are some old pics:
Twist Out
(pinned at the sides)
08/08/2010


Back View




Afro
(Wash & Go
05/30/2010


Afro
(after combing out a previous twist out)
08/14/2010


Afro
(Kinky Curly Custard)
08/15/2010




Protective Style
08/24/2010






Twist Out
09/16/2010





Length Check
06/24/2010


Length Check
09/16/2010




Learning to Flat Twist
(1st try)
10/03/2010





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Hair Update - 10/11/10

It's been a while since I've discussed anything hair related, but I had a great breakthrough today. My signature style, since becoming natural, has always been twists; it's easy, it protects the ends of my hair from knots, and I can do it while watching a movie. What more can you ask for? Anywho, today my twists are poppin! LOL

Ladies, remember that sense of awe you would feel as a child, while admiring your newly braided or twisted hair in the mirror? Whether there were small beads or rubber bands at the end, the feeling of bliss during the movement of your hair from side to side? Well today, I experienced that same joyous shake that I would experience after my mom hooked my hair up.

I felt like a kid again.

Why can't life always be that simple? *sigh*

Anyway, it's been 16 months, 1 week, and 4 days since my BC ( ). Even though I don't blog about it much, I'm still very obsessed with my hair. I'm still head over heels in love with the hair GOD has bless me with. (Yes, this is one of my good days. Catch me on a bad one and I'll deny ever uttering that statement! LOL)

My friends on BBM, and those who look through photos on my phone, either make fun of me and "my obsession" -- their words, not mine lol --, or roll their eyes while muttering, "So you're still doing the natural thing?!" ... um insert my look of disgust, followed by a *side eye*. LOL

I'll try to have recent pics up later this week.


Psst! Any of you guys still there? Did you miss me? Let me know!


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October 3, 2010

GOD's Promises

Speak God's promises to you out loud. Say...

Greater is He that is in me than he that is in the world.

No weapon formed against me will prosper.

I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me.

God has not brought me this far to let me down now.

God is my Avenger.

The weapons of my warfare are not carnal but MIGHTY.

To him who believes ALL things are possible and I am a believer.

The lions will not devour me.

In the furnace, the fire will not burn me. My clothes will not even smell of the smoke.

My shield of FAITH will quench all the fiery darts of the enemy.

When the battle is over I will be standing because I am on the Lord's side.

I submit to God and resist the devil. The devil must flee.

This is the victory that has overcome the world, my faith.



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October 1, 2010

Movie List - 9/2010

Since I forgot about this section of my blog, I decided to forgo the rating system and just list the movies that I've watched during that particular month. Any movie that is highlighted should definitely be checked out! Movies that are in bold are considered to be good, but not great. (6/27/2011)



Movie List - 9/2010

_________

Aziz Ansari: Intimate Moments
Tyson
Iron Man 2
Carnivale: Season 1
The Killer Inside Me
City Island
Chronicle of an Escape
Diary of a Wimpy Kid
Survival of the Dead
Mad Men: Season 1
Unthinkable
Blood Creek
The Lovely Bones
Ghost Hunters: Season 2
The Princess and the Frog
Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time
Killers
The Joneses
Date Night


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September 29, 2010

GROWING UP...

Your best friend becomes your worst enemy.
Lollipops turn into cigarettes.
The innocent ones turn into sluts.
Homework goes in the trash.
Detention becomes suspension.
Soda becomes vodka.
Undies turn into g-strings and boxers.
Kisses turn into sex.
Remember when getting high meant swinging on the playground?
When protection meant wearing a helmet?
When the worst things you could get from girls/boys were cooties?
Your worst enemies were your siblings.
Race issues were about who ran fastest.
War was only a card game.
The only drug you knew was cough medicine.
Wearing a skirt didn't make you a slut.
The only things that hurt were skinned knees.
And goodbyes only meant until tomorrow?
...and to think we all couldn't wait to grow up!


Source: Unknown

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September 28, 2010

A drunk gets up from the bar and heads for the bathroom.

A few minutes later, a loud, blood-curdling scream is heard
minutes after that, another loud scream reverberates through
the bar.

The bartender goes into the bathroom to investigate why the
drunk is screaming.
"What's all the screaming in there? You're scaring the customers!"

"I'm just sitting here on the toilet and every time I try to
flush, something comes up and squeezes my testicles."

With that, the bartender opens the door, looks in and says,
"You Idiot! You're sitting on the mop bucket!"

Source: www.laffaday.com

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September 25, 2010

Law of the Garbage Truck


One day I hopped in a taxi and we took off for the airport.

We were driving in the right lane when suddenly a black car jumped out of a parking space right in front of us. My taxi driver slammed on his brakes, skidded and missed the other car by just inches!

The driver of the other car whipped his head around and started yelling at us.
My taxi driver just smiled and waved at the guy. And I mean he was really friendly.

So I asked, “why did you just do that? This guy almost ruined your car and sent us both to the hospital!” This is when my taxi driver taught me the ‘law of the garbage truck’.

He explained that many people are like garbage trucks. They run around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger, and full of disappointment. As their garbage piles up, they need a place to dump it and sometimes they dump it on you. Don’t take it personally. Smile, wave, wish them well and move on. Don’t take their garbage and spread it to other people at work, at home, or on the streets.

The bottom line is that successful people do not let garbage trucks take over their day. Life is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets. So… love the people who treat you right, forget the ones who don’t.

Life is 10% what you make it and 90% how you take it!

Have a blessed garbage-free day!

A smile is a light in the window of the soul indicating the heart is at home.


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September 15, 2010

99% of ppl you will never want to meet in college

Read this very funny email post called "99% of ppl you will never want to meet in college" and wanted to share it with my readers. After I published this looooooooooooooooong post (that comes out to 26 pages, 11,364 words, & 1,167 lines, according to Microsoft Word :D), I realized that even I wouldn't want to read it, so I decided to break it into 17 parts. You can click on the link below to read them all.

BTW - This one post, divided into 17 sections took me 3+ hours to do, so please read at least 3. Gracias!

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Part 6
Part 7
Part 8
Part 9
Part 10
Part 11
Part 12
Part 13
Part 14
Part 15
Part 16
Part 17


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Ten Reasons To Be A Vegetarian

(From http://www.vegecyber.com/others/about_vegetarianism.shtml)


Hunger

Number of people worldwide who will die as a result of malnutrition this year: 20 million.
Number of people who could be adequately fed using land freed if Americans reduced
their intake of meat by 10%: 100 million.
Percentage of corn grown in the U.S. eaten by livestock: 80.
Percentage of oats grown in the U.S. eaten by livestock: 95.
How frequently a child dies as a result of malnutrition: every 2.3 seconds.
Pounds of potatoes that can be grown on an acre: 40,000.
Pounds of beef produced on an acre: 250.
Percentage of U.S. farmland devoted to beef production: 56.
Pounds of grain and soybeans needed to produce a pound of beef: 16.

Environmental

Primary cause of greenhouse effect: carbon dioxide emissions from fossil fuels Fossil fuels needed to produce meat-centered diet vs. a meat-free diet: 3 times more . Percentage of U.S. topsoil lost to date: 75. Percentage of U.S. topsoil loss directly related to livestock raising: 85.
Number of acres of U.S. forest cleared for cropland to produce meat-centered diet: 260 million. Area of tropical rainforest consumed in every quarter-pound of rainforest beef: 55 sq. feet. Current rate of species extinction due to destruction of tropical rainforests for meat grazing and other uses: 1,000 per year.

Cancer

Increased risk of breast cancer for women who eat meat daily compared to less than
once a week: 3.8 times. For women who eat eggs daily compared to once a week: 2.8 times. Increased risk of fatal ovarian cancer for women who eat eggs 3 or more times a week vs. less than once a week: 3 times. Increased risk of fatal prostate cancer for men who consume meat, cheese, eggs and milk daily vs. sparingly or not at all: 3.6 times.

Cholesterol

Most common cause of death in the U.S.: heart attack.
How frequently a heart attack kills in the U.S.: every 45 seconds.
Average U.S. man's risk of death from heart attack: 50 percent.
Risk of average U.S. man who eats no meat, dairy or eggs: 4 percent.
Amount you reduce risk if you eliminate meat, dairy and eggs from your diet: 90 percent
Average cholesterol level of people eating meat-centered-diet: 210 mg/dl.
Chance of dying from heart disease if you are male and your blood cholesterol level is
210 mg/dl: greater than 50 percent.

Natural Resources

User of more than half of all water used for all purposes in the U.S.: livestock production.
Gallons of water needed to produce a pound of wheat: 25.
Gallons of water needed to produce a pound of California beef: 5,000.
Years the world's known oil reserves would last if every human ate a meat-centered diet:13.
Years they would last if human beings no longer ate meat: 260.
Calories of fossil fuel expended to get 1 calory of protein from beef: 78.
To get 1 calory of protein from soybeans: 2.

Antibiotic

Ingredients: Any one of our instant noodles, fresh vegetables (if you don't have fresh
veggies handy, then our Just Corn and Just Veggies are just as good), Roasted Seaweed (optional), Wei-I Best Grade Laver Ro Su (bacon bits) (optional) and any of our frozen gourmet.

Percentage of U.S. antibiotics fed to livestock: 55.
Percentage of staphylococci infections resistant to penicillin in 1960: 13.
Percentage resistant in 1988: 91.
Response of European Economic Community to routine feeding of antibiotics to livestock: ban.
Response of U.S. meat and pharmaceutical industries to routine feeding of antibiotics to livestock: full and complete support.

Pesticide

Fewer than 1 out of every 250,000 slaughtered animals is tested for toxic chemical
residues.
Percentage of U.S. mother's milk containing significant levels of DDT: 99.
Percentage of U.S. vegetarian mother's milk containing significant levels of DDT: 8.
Contamination of breast milk, due to chlorinated hydrocarbon pesticides in animal
products, found in meat-eating mothers vs. non-meat eating mothers: 35 times higher.

Ethics

Number of animals killed for meat per hour in the U.S.: 660,000.
Occupation with the highest turnover rate in U.S.: slaughterhouse worker.
Occupation with the highest rate of on-the-job-injury in U.S.: slaughterhouse worker.

Spiritual Consciousness

Food is the source of the body's chemistry, and what we ingest affects our consciousness, emotions and experiential pattern. If we want to live in higher consciousness, in peace and happiness and love for all creatures, then we should
consider not eating meat, fish, shellfish, fowl or eggs.

Karmic Consequences

Major religions around the world such as Buddhism or Hinduism teach that all of our actions including our choice of food have karmic consequences. By involving oneself in the cycle of inflicting injury, pain and death, even indirectly by eating other creatures, one must in the future experience in equal measure the suffering caused.

Source: http://www.vegecyber.com/others/about_vegetarianism.shtml


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September 13, 2010

Beauty of Mathematics !!!!!!!

1 x 8 + 1 = 9
12 x 8 + 2 = 98
123 x 8 + 3 = 987
1234 x 8 + 4 = 9876
12345 x 8 + 5 = 98765
123456 x 8 + 6 = 987654
1234567 x 8 + 7 = 9876543
12345678 x 8 + 8 = 98765432
123456789 x 8 + 9 = 987654321

1 x 9 + 2 = 11
12 x 9 + 3 = 111
123 x 9 + 4 = 1111
1234 x 9 + 5 = 11111
12345 x 9 + 6 = 111111
123456 x 9 + 7 = 1111111
1234567 x 9 + 8 = 11111111
12345678 x 9 + 9 = 111111111
123456789 x 9 +10= 1111111111

9 x 9 + 7 = 88
98 x 9 + 6 = 888
987 x 9 + 5 = 8888
9876 x 9 + 4 = 88888
98765 x 9 + 3 = 888888
987654 x 9 + 2 = 8888888
9876543 x 9 + 1 = 88888888
98765432 x 9 + 0 = 888888888

Brilliant, isn't it?

And look at this symmetry:

1 x 1 = 1
11 x 11 = 121
111 x 111 = 12321
1111 x 1111 = 1234321
11111 x 11111 = 123454321
111111 x 111111 = 12345654321
1111111 x 1111111 = 1234567654321
11111111 x 11111111 = 123456787654321
111111111 x 111111111 = 12345678987654321



Now, take a look at this...


101%


From a strictly mathematical viewpoint:

What Equals 100%?
What does it mean to give MORE than 100%?

Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%?

We have all been in situations where someone wants you to GIVE OVER 100%.

How about ACHIEVING 101%?

What equals 100% in life?

Here's a little mathematical formula that might help answer these questions:

If:

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Is represented as:

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

If:

H-A-R-D-W-O- R- K

8+1+18+4+23+ 15+18+11 = 98%

And:

K-N-O-W-L-E- D-G-E

11+14+15+23+ 12+5+4+7+ 5 = 96%

But:

A-T-T-I-T-U- D-E

1+20+20+9+20+ 21+4+5 = 100%

THEN, look how far the love of God will take you:

L-O-V-E-O-F- G-O-D

12+15+22+5+15+ 6+7+15+4 = 101%

Therefore, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that:

While Hard Work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will
get you there, It's the Love of God that will put you over the top!


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September 4, 2010

"Researchers at Johns Hopkins University are predicting that
75 percent of Americans will be overweight by the year 2015.
But my fellow Americans, with a little team work, I think
we can do it by the end of 2010. USA! USA!" - Conan O'Brien

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September 1, 2010

My First Time

I recall my first time with a condom, I was 16 or so.

I went in to buy a packet of condoms at the corner pharmacy.
There was this beautiful woman assistant behind the counter,
and she could see that I was new at it.

She handed me the package and asked if I knew how to wear one.

I honestly answered, 'No, this is my first time.' So she
unwrapped the package, took one out and slipped it over her
thumb. She cautioned me to make sure it was on tight and
secure. I apparently still looked confused. So she looked
all around the store to see if it was empty. It was empty.

'Just a minute,' she said, and walked to the door, and locked
it.

Taking my hand, she led me into the back room, unbuttoned her
blouse and removed it. She unhooked her bra and laid it aside.
'Do these excite you?' She asked. Well, I was so dumb-struck
that all I could do was nod my head. She then said it was
time to slip the condom on.

As I was slipping it on, she dropped her skirt, removed her
panties and lay down on a desk. 'Well, come on', she said,
'We don't have much time.'

So I climbed on her. It was so wonderful, that unfortunately,
I could no longer hold back and KAPOW, I was done within a
few minutes.

She looked at me with a bit of a frown. 'Did you put that
condom on?' she asked.

I said, 'I sure did,' and held up my thumb to show her.

She fainted.


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My First Time

I recall my first time with a condom, I was 16 or so.

I went in to buy a packet of condoms at the corner pharmacy.
There was this beautiful woman assistant behind the counter,
and she could see that I was new at it.

She handed me the package and asked if I knew how to wear one.

I honestly answered, 'No, this is my first time.' So she
unwrapped the package, took one out and slipped it over her
thumb. She cautioned me to make sure it was on tight and
secure. I apparently still looked confused. So she looked
all around the store to see if it was empty. It was empty.

'Just a minute,' she said, and walked to the door, and locked
it.

Taking my hand, she led me into the back room, unbuttoned her
blouse and removed it. She unhooked her bra and laid it aside.
'Do these excite you?' She asked. Well, I was so dumb-struck
that all I could do was nod my head. She then said it was
time to slip the condom on.

As I was slipping it on, she dropped her skirt, removed her
panties and lay down on a desk. 'Well, come on', she said,
'We don't have much time.'

So I climbed on her. It was so wonderful, that unfortunately,
I could no longer hold back and KAPOW, I was done within a
few minutes.

She looked at me with a bit of a frown. 'Did you put that
condom on?' she asked.

I said, 'I sure did,' and held up my thumb to show her.

She fainted.


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Movie List - 8/2010

Since I forgot about this section of my blog, I decided to forgo the rating system and just list the movies that I've watched during that particular month. Any movie that is highlighted should definitely be checked out! Movies that are in bold are considered to be good, but not great. (6/27/2011)



Movie List - 8/2010

_________

The White Ribbon
Tyler Perry's Why Did I Get Married Too?
Fast Food Nation
Fargo
Clash of the Titans
Repo Men
Life Support
The Game: Season 3
The Losers
Cop Out
Triage
Gamer
Our Family Wedding
Death at a Funeral (2010)
After.Life
Mother
Kick-Ass


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August 30, 2010

Doctor's Appt

I went to an extremely attractive female doctor today for my
annual checkup. She told me that I had to quit masturbating.

I asked why. She said, "Because I am trying to examine you!"

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August 22, 2010

Advice Anyone?

* Money doesn't bring you happiness, but it enables you to
look for it in more places.

* Your conscience may not keep you from doing wrong, but it
sure keeps you from enjoying it.

* Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of
the waist change places.

* Misers aren't much fun to live with, but they make great
ancestors.

* Be careful what rut you choose. You may be in it the rest
of your life.

* The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has
the same size bucket.

* When you see the handwriting on the wall, you can bet
you're in a public restroom.

* Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.

* The real reason you can't take it with you is that it goes
before you do.

* Junk is something you throw away three weeks before you
need it.

* Hospitality is making your guests feel at home, even if
you wish they were.

* A closed mouth gathers no feet.

* A man (or woman) who can smile when things go wrong has
found someone to blame it on.

* A modern pioneer is a woman who can get through a rainy
Saturday with a television on the blink.

* The world is full of willing people: some willing to work
and some willing to let them.

* Money isn't everything....there's credit cards, money
orders, and travelers checks.



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August 1, 2010

Movie List - 7/2010

Since I forgot about this section of my blog, I decided to forgo the rating system and just list the movies that I've watched during that particular month. Any movie that is highlighted should definitely be checked out! Movies that are in bold are considered to be good, but not great. (6/27/2011)



Movie List - 7/2010

_________

Daybreakers
Monty Python and the Holy Grail
2001 Maniacs
Hot Tub Time Machine
Ladron Que Roba a Ladron
House of Payne: Vol. 5
The Collector
Crossing Over
Entourage: Season 6
Green Zone
The Girl in the Park
Sunshine
Restraint
Chloe
Brooklyn's Finest
Peacock
Defendor
Dear Zachary


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July 30, 2010

What does your Heart Line say about you?

I don't know which quiz I filled out but this is spot on! It's actually very scary how accurate it is. Feels like they drilled into my head, sucked out my personal information, and wrote this just for me.

SCARY!!!!!!

By the way, I've been single for at least five years now. The dating scene is brutal and I refuse to kiss any frogs. (Frogs spread cooties and I don't like cooties!) And have you noticed how many wackos there are out there?!?! Don't even get me started; I can give you about a million and one reasons why the single life is good enough for me. But who in their right mind would want to enter a relationship with the person described below? I know I wouldn't....




What does your Heart Line say about you?

You are a very selfish lover. You live for yourself and care little for the people around you. When your partner commits a mistake, you can be very unforgiving. If you like someone, you stop at nothing to get that person in your life. But after winning your love, your devotion and attention level drops like a brick. You are emotional in love. You will have moments of ultimate happiness in your love life. You are likely to be extremely passionate and romantic. Your heart rules your head.

Honestly, now that I think about it, the above paragraph describes the "single me". When I'm in a relationship, I'm all bubbly and gushy and caring, and loving and disturbingly pleasant. Only a very select few have seen that side of me.


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July 6, 2010

When a patient was wheeled into our emergency room, I was
the nurse on duty. "On a scale of zero to ten," I asked
her, "with zero representing no pain and ten representing
excruciating pain, what would you say your pain level is
now?"

She shook her head. "Oh, I don't know. I'm not good with
math."

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July 5, 2010

A Raise

The Mexican maid asked for a pay increase. The wife was
very upset about this and decided to talk to her about
the raise. She asked, "Now Maria, why do you want a pay
raise?"

"Well, Senora, there are tree reasons why I wan a raise.
The first is that I iron better than you."

"Who said you iron better than me?" asked the wife.

"Jor husband say so."

"Ok."

"The second reason is that I am a better cook than you."

"Nonsense!" explodes the wife. "Who said you are a better
cook than me?"

"Jor husband did."

"Oh..."

"The third reason is that I am better at sex than you."

"Did my husband say that as well?!" the wife demanded
furiously.

"No Senora...the gardener did."

"So, how much is it you want?"

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July 1, 2010

Movie List - 6/2010

Since I forgot about this section of my blog, I decided to forgo the rating system and just list the movies that I've watched during that particular month. Any movie that is highlighted should definitely be checked out! Movies that are in bold are considered to be good, but not great. (6/27/2011)



Movie List - 6/2010

_________

The Crazies
Behind the Sun
# 1 Ladies Detective Agency: Season 1
Creation
Planet 51
Soldier's Girl
Taking Chance
Once Upon a Time in America
Remember Me
Die Hard 2: Die Harder
The Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day
Silkwood
Post Grad
Youth in Revolt
Nurse Jackie: Season 1
Invictus
Elizabeth
The Condemned
Sunny in Philadelphia: Season 4
Edge of Darkness
From Paris with Love
Eddie Murphy: Delirious
Return to Paradise
Fantastic Four
Girlfriends: Season 7

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Instant Activity Movie List: 1/2010 - 6/2010

Any movie that is highlighted should definitely be checked out! Movies that are in bold are considered to be good, but not great.



Instant Activity Movie List:
1/2010 - 6/2010


_________


My Name Is Earl: Season 4
Rescue Me: Season 5
Dead Zone: Season 1
Lie to Me: Season 1
Keeping Up Appearances
1st Amendment Standup: Season 2
30 Days: Season 2
Dollhouse: Season 1
Arj Barker: LYAO
Weeds: Season 5
Deadgirl (Gruesome violence)
Severance
World's Greatest Dad
Benji Brown: In Touch with Reality
Jeff Dunham: Arguing with Myself

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The Black Poetry Cafe

There are a lot of status updates on face.book but only one of my friends is always on point. He is an author, poet, spoken word artist, activist, and owner of one of the most recognized names in the poetry site world, THE BLACK POETRY CAFE. I consider him a breath of fresh air and his latest status left me in awe once again:
"Just as a good mother doesn't allow her child to eat the sweet dessert before he gets his nutrients from the main course, a good woman doesn't allow a man to indulge in her sweet lovin' until he gets acquainted with her nutrients in the form of her mind, heart, and soul."
If you liked what you've just read, definitely check out THE BLACK POETRY CAFE.
Better yet, you should join today!


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June 26, 2010

Don goes into business for himself. He buys a hotdog cart
and sets it up in a prime spot on a busy downtown corner,
right near a large bank.

One day, his friend Jim approaches him and asks Don if he
can lend him some money.

Don refuses.

"But why?" asks Jim. "Everyone knows you're doing well, and
I'm not asking for much."

"Well, Jim, in order to get this spot I had to sign a Non-
competition Agreement with that bank over there. According
to the terms of the agreement, they're don't sell hot dogs,
and I don't lend money."


********************************


A little boy walked up to the librarian to check out a book
entitled "COMPREHENSIVE GUIDE FOR MOTHERS."

When the librarian asked him if it was for his mother, he
answered 'no.'

"Then why are you checking it out?"

"Because," said the little boy confidently, "I just started
collecting moths last month!"

Source: www.laffaday.com

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June 12, 2010

The preacher is dying

An old preacher was dying. He sent a message for his banker and his lawyer, both church members, to come to his home.

When they arrived, they were ushered up to his bedroom. As they entered the room, the preacher held out his hands and motioned for them to sit on each side of the bed. The preacher grasped their hands, sighed contentedly, smiled, and stared at the ceiling. For a time, no one said anything.

Both the banker and lawyer were touched and flattered that the preacher would ask them to be with him during his final moments. They were also puzzled; the preacher had never given them any indication that he particularly liked either of them. They both remembered his many long, uncomfortable sermons about greed, covetousness, and avaricious behaviour that made them squirm in their seats.

Finally, the banker said, "Preacher, why did you ask us to come?"

The old preacher mustered up his strength and then said weakly, "Jesus died between two thieves, and that's how I want to go."

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June 10, 2010

The Life Cycle

The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean,
life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you
get in the end of it? Death. What's that...a bonus? I think
the life cycle is all backwards.

(1) You should die first, you know, start out dead, get it
out of the way. You wake up in a an old age home, feeling
better every day.

(2) You get kicked out for being too healthy, go collect
your pension, then, when you start work, you get a gold
watch on your first day.

(3) You work 40 years until you're young enough to enjoy
your retirement. You drink alcohol, you party, play golf,
you're generally promiscuous (hey, you've only got a few
years left, what's the big deal?!?) and you get ready for
High School.

(4) Then you go to primary school, you become a kid, you
play, you have no responsibilities, and, finally, you become
a baby;

(5) The last step, you spend your last 9 months floating
peacefully with luxuries like central heating, spa, room
service on tap, larger quarters everyday, then you finish
off as an orgasm!


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June 1, 2010

Movie List - 5/2010

Since I forgot about this section of my blog, I decided to forgo the rating system and just list the movies that I've watched during that particular month. Any movie that is highlighted should definitely be checked out! Movies that are in bold are considered to be good, but not great. (6/27/2011)



Movie List - 5/2010

_________

Home Movie
Katt Williams: It's Pimpin' Pimpin'
The Stoning of Soraya M.
The Road
Carriers
Big Love: Season 3
The Box
Ghost Hunters: Season 2
The Hurt Locker
The Spy Next Door
The Messenger
Who Can Kill a Child?
The Prophecy
Good Hair
Legion
An American Crime
Dexter: Season 3
Monk: Season 7
The Time Traveler's Wife
Tetro
My Fake Fiancé


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May 26, 2010

"Who wears the pants?"

Bob was going to be married to Laura, so his father sat him down
for a little chat. He said "Bob, let me tell you something.
On my wedding night, I took off my pants handed them to
your mother and told her to try them on, she did and said
'they're too big, I can't wear them.' I told her 'exactly...I wear
the pants in the family and I always will.' Ever since that night
we have never had any problems."

Bob thought it was a good thing to try. On his honeymoon Bob
took off his pants and told Laura to try them on, she did and
said "these are too large, they don't fit me" Bob told her "exactly,
I wear the pants in the family don't forget it".
So Laura took off her panties and said "here try mine" Bob did
and said "I can't get into your panties"
Laura said "exactly! and if you don't change your smart ass
attitude you never will!"



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May 24, 2010

"How old am I?"

A woman decides to have a face-lift for her 50th birthday.
She spends $15,000 and feels pretty good about the results.

On her way home, she stops at a newsstand to buy a newspaper.
Before leaving, she says to the clerk, 'I hope you don't mind my
asking, but how old
do you think I am?
'About 32,' is the reply.'
'Nope! I'm exactly 50,' the woman says happily.

A little while later she goes into Mc Donald's and asks the counter
girl the very same
question.
The girl replies, 'I'd guess about 29.'
The woman replies with a big smile, 'Nope, I'm 50.'

Now she's feeling really good about herself ...
She stops in a drug store on her way down the street.
She goes up to the counter to get some mints and asks
the clerk this burning question.

The clerk responds, 'Oh, I'd say 30.'

Again she proudly responds, 'I'm 50,
but thank you!'
While waiting for the bus to go home, she asks an old man
waiting next to her
the same question.
He replies, 'Lady, I'm 78 and my eyesight is going.
Although, when I was young there
was a sure-fire way to tell
how old a
woman was. It sounds very forward, but it requires
you
to let me put my hands under your bra.
Then, and only then can I tell you EXACTLY how old you are.'

They wait in silence on the empty street until her curiosity gets the best of her.

She finally blurts out, 'What the hell, go ahead.'

He slips both of his hands under her blouse and begins to
feel around very slowly and carefully.

He bounces and weighs each breast and he gently pinches each nipple.

He pushes her breasts together and rubs them against each other.

After a couple of minutes of this, she says, 'Okay, okay ... How old am I?'

He completes one last squeeze of her breasts, removes his hands,
and says, 'Madam, you are 50.'


Stunned and amazed, the woman says, 'That was incredible, how could you tell?'

The old man says, 'Promise you won't get mad?'

'I promise I won't' she says.

'I was behind you at Mc Donald's.'


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May 22, 2010

Yes , we can...but we won't...

CNN conducted a new study about race: the researchers concluded that both Caucasian and African-American children are still as biased towards lighter skin as they were in the 1940's. Um...duh?! Did we really need a study to confirm what we already know?

Why did people automatically assume that an African-American president would compel racism to cease to exist? So after hundreds of years of slavery, the Unprejudiced/No Racism Fairy would magically appear, wave her wand and sprinkle fairy dust, causing all bigotry, intolerance, and self-hatred to miraculously disappear? If you believe that, I have an island in New York City for sale.

Now back to the study. Of course it reiterated what most people already know, but one part that stood out was a statement made by child psychologist Margaret Beale Spencer:

"Parents have to reframe what children experience ... basically reframing messages that children get from society."

That, my dear readers, is the reason why there is so much hate in this world. I understand that she is referring to African-American families, but just think about it: if parents took the time to replace, instead of reinforcing the negativity taught to their children, the human race could finally take initiative and head towards utopia, a.k.a. world peace!

When parents neglect that vital aspect in a child's upbringing, the child must rely on their friends and media for edification. That's basically the blind leading the blind. Does this world really need anymore light-skinned, light-eyed, blond, stick figures? We come in all different colors and sizes for a reason. Instead of ostracizing people who are different, why not embrace nationality? This has all been said millions of times before, but so many people are neither listening to nor hearing what is being said.

Since I don't have children, I rarely give advice to parents, but when I do it is usually to remind them to teach their children self-love. Kudos to the parents who realize that self-image and self-esteem inter-depend with every decision that will be made by their children in the future.

I could go into a rant, but I'm reserving my energy for short-term goals, like battling this sinus cold. Do you have anything to add? I'm listening!

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May 1, 2010

Movie List - 4/2010

Since I forgot about this section of my blog, I decided to forgo the rating system and just list the movies that I've watched during that particular month. Any movie that is highlighted should definitely be checked out! Movies that are in bold are considered to be good, but not great. (6/27/2011)



Movie List - 4/2010

_________


The Blind Swordman: Zatoichi
Terminator: Salvation
Poltergeist II
Poltergeist III
District 13: Ultimatum
The Descent: Part 2
Sherlock Holmes
The Corner (HBO Miniseries - 2000)
Zombieland
Lake Mungo
The Brothers Grimm
The Invention of Lying
The Blind Side
Poltergeist
The Yards
The Fourth Kind
Public Enemies
Ninja Assassin
Cirque du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant
Couples Retreat
Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans
Possession
Sleep Dealer
Moon


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April 28, 2010

My Favorites

Wanted to share some things about myself. As you can tell from the title, it's all my favorite things in one post. All I'm missing is a bow! :0)

LOVE to watch movies.
Especially horrors, but I also love action flicks.
On a rainy day, I'll be watching one of these movies:
  • Con Air (PUT DOWN THE BUNNY! LOL),
  • Little Shop of Horror (I know the lyrics to every SINGLE song),
  • Thir13en Ghost,
  • 28 Days Later,
  • Anchorman,
  • and my new favorite movie is Stardust.
Music is my life. It helps me keep a grip on reality.
I listen to mostly everything...
but it all depends on my mood...
just as long as it sounds good.
My fav singers are Luther Vandross and Celine Dion.
My fav group is Boyz II Men.
I also love Michael Bolton,
Sade,
Joe,
Brian McKnight,
Black Eyed Peas,
Green Day,
Linkin Park,
and Maroon Five.

Since becoming a homebody, I watch a lot of tv shows. I am hooked on
  • A Haunting,
  • It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia,
  • Grey's Anatomy,
  • 30 Rock,
  • Medium,
  • Family Guy,
  • and Top Model.
RIP to Oz, Scrubs, The Wire, Six Feet Under, Nip/Tuck, Girlfriends, The Sopranos, Prison Break, My Name is Earl, MXC on Spike Tv, Better Off Ted, & Fastlane.


My favorite books are:
"The Outsiders" by S.E. Hinton,
"I am the Cheese" by Robert Cormier,
"The Catcher in the Rye" by J.D. Salinger,
"Desperate Hoodwives" & "Shameless Hoodwives" both by Meesha Mink, De'nesha Diamond


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April 27, 2010

Images to Encourage





















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April 26, 2010

Web Cleansing

Cleansing is beneficial; whether it's spiritual or emotional, it's always worth it at the end.

I've been in a rut for the past 3 years. It might actually be longer but I've stopped counting. Anyhow, no matter how far I run, I consistently return to the same exact spot that I began at. Well enough is enough! I'm tired of running in circles! Rather than becoming a basket case, I've decided to start from scratch. Anything that makes me happy is going to be eliminated from my life.

You are probably scratching your head. "Shouldn't you hold on to the things that bring you joy and get rid of the rest?"

Honestly? It's my life and I'll do what I want. 

Plus, even if I'm wrong, it's still a learning experience. There's a lesson to be learned from everything that happens our lives.

So, I'm starting from scratch and everything must go. Unfortunately, this cleansing will not be long and drawn out, since there remains very few things that make me happy. One of the things that I love to do is get lost reading different blogs/sites. I've removed at least 5 cherished sites already. It was difficult so I know I made the right choices. I can't move forward if I don't start somewhere.

This all started on April 15, during one of my many temper tantrums while on twitter.

It dawned on me that I had to delete my account. *gasp* I know! How can someone, who was once so obsessed, become so frustrated that they are willing to cut ties with people who are more genuine than "real friends"?

It's easy actually. I like to act before I think.

It's a horrible characteristic but it's more of a blessing than a curse. Sometimes... Once I start to dwell on whatever it is, I'll talk myself out of it.  So if I think, I won't react accordingly. Then I'm back to square one. And square one is the worst place to be. Especially once you've realize that you were doing well at square ten.

Anyway, bye bye twitter.

I can go on..... but I won't....


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P.S.:

I deleted my twitter account. But the actor, on stage, becomes lonely without an audience. So then I opened a new one since I couldn't bear to remove certain individuals from my life. I also kept a lot of people who I found to be entertaining. But I've promised to keep it to less than 100 followers.


P.S.S.:

Less than 200 followers. But that's it!