May 26, 2009

Deficiency in Math

This is why we trail so many countries in math.

I was sitting in a cafeteria recently. Next to me sat a blonde who was engrossed in her newspaper.

One of the headlines blared: "12 Brazilian Soldiers Killed." She shook her head at the sad news.

Then, turning to me, asked, "How many is a Brazilian?"

Q & A w/ Doc

Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life.
Is this true?

A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it...
don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually.
Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer;
that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster.
Want to live longer? Take a nap.

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?

A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat?
Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables.
So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering
vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a
good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop
can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?

A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine,
that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even
more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one-to-one.
If you have two bodies, your ratio is two-to-one, etc.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular
exercise program?

A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good!

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!! ..... Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil.
In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger.
You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!!
It's the best feel-good food around!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.

Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!

Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

And remember:

'Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention
of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but
rather to skid in sideways - bourbon in one hand - chocolate in
the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming
'WOO HOO, What a Ride'

For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on
nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those
conflicting nutritional studies.

1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you!

Source: Unknown
(But this was sent to me by Anita F - Thanks)

Inspirational Quotes 2

"Remember there's no such thing
as a small act of kindness. Every act creates a ripple
with no logical end." - Scott Adams

"The greater danger for most of us
is not that our aim is too high and we miss it,
but that it is too low and we reach it." - Michelangelo

“Worry gives a small thing a big shadow.” Swedish Proverb

"Don't be afraid of the space between your dreams and reality.
If you can dream it, you can make it so." - Belva Davis

"Destiny is not a matter of chance,
it is a matter of choice;
it is not a thing to be waited for,
it is a thing to be achieved." - Winston Churchill

"To accomplish great things, we must not only act,
but also dream, not only plan, but also believe." - Anatole France

"Let no feeling of discouragement prey upon you,
and in the end you are sure to succeed." - Abraham Lincoln

"Take the first step in faith.
You don't have to see the whole staircase.
Just take the first step." - Martin Luther King Jr.

"Success is to be measured not so much by the
position that one has reached in life as by the obstacles
which he has overcome while trying to succeed." ---Booker T. Washington

May 6, 2009

Another Quiz

 Took another Personality/Zodiac Sign quiz. Here are the results:

Abstract thoughts. Loves reality and abstract. Intelligent and clever. Changing personality. Attractive. Sexy. Temperamental. Quiet, shy and humble. Honest and loyal. Determined to reach goals. Loves freedom. Rebellious when restricted. Loves aggressiveness. Too sensitive and easily hurt. Gets angry really easily but does not show it. Dislike unnecessary things. Loves making friends but rarely shows it. Daring and stubborn. Ambitious. Realizing dreams and hopes. Sharp. Loves entertainment and leisure. Romantic on the inside not outside. Superstitious and ludicrous. Spendthrift. Tries to learn to show emotions.

Seems accurate enough.
~ღ♥ღ~ Don't forget to comment and subscribe! Thanks in advance! ~ღ♥ღ~

May 4, 2009


This is the best astrological summary of who I am. All of the others I've read haven't even come close....

"Aquarians are nearly always intelligent, concise, clear and logical. Aquarius are often felt to be unfathomable when in reality they live almost entirely on the surface .

Aquarians will not reveal their innermost feelings no matter how hard others may try to persuade them, simply because they are unable to do so.

People of this sign have a reputation for being enigmatic, difficult to understand, and different from everyone else, and cleverly play on this to gain power and attention.

They are extremely friendly yet detached at a personal level, sociable in large gatherings, but unsociable at smaller meetings and parties which require greater intimacy.

They are helpful and compassionate when involved with charities or group activities."

Everyone who knows me will agree that no matter how hard they try, they are unable to get my true feelings out. Especially if it's a guy! LOL I've always said it was difficult to express my emotions, but people always thought that I was faking it. Oh well!