01/01/2012

I've recently been in a happy-go-lucky mood, but with three hours left in 2011, I was given a taste of that very unpleasant reality that I've been running from. That very same one that is ignored once that musical beat starts to play. That very same one that is paused at the onset of any movie that this movie addict gets her hands on. That very same one that always magically disappears when this foodie stuffs her face with a mouth full of delicious food.

But this time hurt more than ever before.

Same scenario, same person, same words.

Yet this time, the blade was bigger and felt razor sharp. Pierced me in a way that I was not prepared for.

Still, I brushed my teeth, showered, got dressed and went to the last place where my bitter, disappointed heart wanted to be: church.

I knew 2012 would be a better year, but it would definitely ring in on the wrong foot.

Fast forward to the countdown. I arrived scorned and angry, but now I was overcome with a feeling of despair and hopelessness.

Why was I here in the exact same dilemma, in the exact same place, where I never chose to be?

Can one truly be too naive to fathom what the future holds?

How many humiliating defeats must occur before realizing that some battles are not meant to be won; that this victory might really be unattainable?

When can you walk away, knowing that you've given it your best and have given it your all?

So as the countdown began, my emotions got the best of me.....

I deserve to be happy!

5 ...

I deserve to be loved!

4 ...

I deserve to be acknowledged!

3 ...

I deserve to feel and be whole!

2 ...

FUCK YOU NEW YEAR!!!!

FUCK YOU for every tear that will be cried
and every second of sorrow that will be felt!




And at that moment I felt a sigh of relief.

Wrong time, and definitely wrong place....

But....

I am only human.

....

....

....

So as I sip this vodka/pineapple/cranberry martini, I bid you a happy new year. May your heart be filled with peace, joy, and love, and may God smile upon you and bless you with a prosperous new year. - MღRLz

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5 Toughest Questions For Men

The 5 toughest questions for men are:

1. What are you thinking about?
2. Do you love me?
3. Do I look fat?
4. Do you think she is prettier than me?
5. What would you do if I died?

What makes these questions so difficult is that each one is guaranteed to explode into a major argument if the man answers incorrectly (i.e. tells the truth). Therefore, as a public service, each question is analyzed below, along with possible responses.


Question # 1: What are you thinking about?

The proper answer to this, of course, is: "I'm sorry if I've been pensive, dear. I was just reflecting on what a warm, wonderful, thoughtful, caring, intelligent woman you are, and how lucky I am to have met you."

This response obviously bears no resemblance to the true answer, which most likely is one of the following:
a. Baseball.
b. Football.
c. How fat you are.
d. How much prettier she is than you.
e. How I would spend the insurance money if you died.
(Perhaps the best response to this question was offered by Al Bundy, who once told Peg, "If I wanted you to know what I was thinking, I would be talking to you!")


Question # 2: Do you love me?

The proper response is: "YES!" or, if you feel a more detailed answer is in order, "Yes, dear."

Inappropriate responses include:
a. Oh Yeah, loads.
b. Would it make you feel better if I said yes?
c. That depends on what you mean by love.
d. Does it matter?
e. Who, me?


Question # 3: Do I look fat?

The correct answer is an emphatic: "Of course not!"

Among the incorrect answers are:
a. Compared to what?
b. I wouldn't call you fat, but you're not exactly thin.
c. A little extra weight looks good on you.
d. I've seen fatter.
e. Could you repeat the question? I was just thinking about how I would spend the insurance money if you died.


Question # 4: Do you think she's prettier than me?

Once again, the proper response is always: "Of course not!"

Incorrect responses include:
a. Yes, but you have a better personality.
b. Not prettier, but definitely thinner.
c. Not as pretty as you when you were her age.
d. Define pretty...
e. Could you repeat the question? I was just thinking about how I would spend the insurance money if you died.


Question# 5: What would you do if I died?

A definite no-win question.

(The real answer, of course, is "Buy a Corvette!")

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Movie List - 11/2011

Any movie that is highlighted should definitely be checked out! Movies that are in bold are considered to be good, but not great.

Movie List - 11/2011

_________


Crazy, Stupid, Love.
30 Minutes or Less
Treme: Season 1
Dexter: Season 5
Devil's Playground
Super 8
Tyler Perry's A Madea Christmas
13
Masterpiece Classic: My Boy Jack
Hoodwinked Too! Hood vs. Evil
Jumping the Broom
Pirates of the Caribbean: Stranger Tides
Trespass
Set Up
Horrible Bosses
Grave Encounters
The Long Kiss Goodnight


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Quickie, anyone?

A man goes into a restaurant, sits down at a table and an attractive young waitress comes for his order. He gives her a smile and says, "I want a quickie."

She turns red in the face and ahems, "Sir, I don't know what kind of restaurant you're used to eating in, but I can assure you you're not going to get a quickie here!"

"How disappointing," the man replied. "Could you ask the chef to make an exception?"

"He doesn't have anything to do with it!" says the waitress indignantly.

"Hmmm, do you know anywhere around here where I could get a quickie?"

"I'm SURE I don't know," answers the waitress loudly.

A patron from the next table leans over and taps the man on the shoulder, "I think it's pronounced QUICHE."

Source: www.laffaday.com
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Movie List

I forgot all about my movies that were listed on the side tab under "Movies Recently Seen". I don't remember when I first starting listing them so I've decided to group them all in this one long post.

Since I started posting movies every month, I've decided to only list movies seen at theaters instead of netflix under "Movies Recently Seen". Enjoy...

Movie List
(Before 09/2009)
________


G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra - 9/10
Drag Me To Hell - 9/10



Shutter Island - 8/10
Sybil - 8/10
For Colored Girls Who Have Considered ... - 8/10
Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs - 8/10
The Damned United - 8/10
Black Dynamite - 8/10
The Crucible - 8/10
Apocalypse Now / Apocalypse Now Redux - 8/10
Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines - 8/10
Jeff Dunham: Arguing with Myself - 8/10
Irreversible - 8/10
(500) Days of Summer - 8/10
District 9 - 8/10
Inglourious Basterds - 8/10
Avatar 3D - 8/10
Mongol - 8/10
Night at the Museum 2: Battle of the Smithsonian - 8/10
Expired - 8/10
Star Trek - 8/10
Up - 8/10
The Taking of Pelham 123 - 8/10
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen - 8/10
Boy A - 8/10
Day of The Dead - 8/10
The Last House on the Left - 8/10
Away We Go - 8/10
Sex Drive - 8/10
House of Sand and Fog - 8/10
Life and Debt - 8/10




The Uninvited Guest / El habitante incierto - 7/10
Orphan - 7/10
Precious: Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire - 7/10
2012 - 7/10
Saw VI - 7/10
Sorority Row - 7/10
The Marine - 7/10
The Book of Eli - 7/10
Cold Souls - 7/10
The Wolfman - 7/10
Severance - 7/10
Red Eye - 7/10
Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs - 7/10
World's Greatest Dad - 7/10
Capers/The Brooklyn Heist - 7/10
Benji Brown: In Touch with Reality - 7/10
Pandorum - 7/10
A Day in the Life - 7/10
The Bucket List - 7/10
A Perfect Getaway - 7/10
A Colbert Christmas: The Greatest Gift of All - 7/10
Soul Theater Series: Fabric of a Man - 7/10
Suburban Mayhem - 7/10
Eden Lake - 7/10
Assassination of a High School President - 7/10
Shattered/Butterfly on a Wheel - 7/10
Narc - 7/10
Girlhood - 7/10
Angels & Demons - 7/10
Funny People - 7/10
Ma vie en rose - 7/10
Five Fingers - 7/10
The Butcher Boy - 7/10
The Accidental Husband - 7/10
The DL Chronicles - 7/10
Where God Left His Shoes - 7/10
Wristcutters: A Love Story - 7/10
Paranormal Activities - 7/10
Nothing Like the Holidays - 7/10
Crank: High Voltage - 7/10
Ryeong/The Ghost - 7/10
Year One - 7/10
State of Grace - 7/10
The Brothers Bloom - 7/10
Monsters vs Aliens - 7/10
Life Is Hot in Cracktown - 7/10
Next Day Air - 7/10
The Mutant Chronicles - 7/10
Grandma's Boy - 7/10
Masters of Horror: John Landis: Family - 7/10
The Foot Fist Way - 7/10
Tortured - 7/10
Sin Nombre - 7/10
Coraline - 7/10
Dead Calm - 7/10
Stay Alive - 7/10





Wrong Turn - 6/10
Surrogates - 6/10
The Private Lives of Pippa Lee - 6/10
Deadgirl - 6/10
Dead Snow / Død snø - 6/10
Whisper - 6/10
The Children - 6/10
Tyler Perry's I Can Do Bad All by Myself - 6/10
Knowing - 6/10
Fast and Furious - 6/10
Inkheart - 6/10
Mama's Boy - 6/10
Garden State - 6/10
Eight Crazy Nights - 6/10
Home for the Holidays - 6/10
Yeogo gwae-dam 4: Moksori/Voice - 6/10
Chaos - 6/10
Brüno - 6/10
Choke - 6/10
Sunshine Cleaning - 6/10
Land of the Lost - 6/10
Imagine That - 6/10
Primer - 6/10
Chéri - 6/10
Dorothy Mills - 6/10
Return to House on Haunted Hill - 6/10
Surveillance - 6/10
The Proposal - 6/10
12 Rounds - 6/10
Observe and Report - 6/10
Ghosts of Girlfriends Past - 6/10
Three... Extremes/Sam gang yi - 6/10
The Deaths of Ian Stone - 6/10
Dance Flick - 6/10
The Red Shoes - 6/10






The Final Destination - 5/10
The Killing Room - 5/10







Crazy Eights - 4/10
Fear Dot Com - 4/10








Miami Vice - 3/10
(I think I rated this movie during my "I hate Jamie Foxx" phase)

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Movie List - 10/2011

Any movie that is highlighted should definitely be checked out! Movies that are in bold are considered to be good, but not great.

Movie List - 10/2011

_________


The Heart Specialist
Fast Five
Taken from Me: The Tiffany Rubin Story
A Haunting: Season 4
Hatchet II
True Blood: Season 2
Father of Invention
Captain America: The First Avenger
Quarantine 2: Terminal
Tyler Perry's Laugh to Keep from Crying
A Better Life
Red State
Bad Teacher
Blitz
Rescue Me: Seasons 6
Weeds: Season 6
YellowBrickRoad
Beautiful Boy
Conan O'Brien Can't Stop
The Baby's Room / To Let
JFK: Special Edition
Boston Legal: Season 4
Life and Times of Tim: Season 1
Scream 4
Phase 7
Transformers: Dark of the Moon

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