My wife told me to go to the doctors and get some of those tablets that 'help' you get an erection.

You should have seen her face when I came back and tossed her some diet pills!

I'm still looking for a place to live.

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What the Doctor says and what he really means.

What the Doctor says and what he really means.

Doctor: "This should be taken care of right away."

Translation: I'd planned a trip to Hawaii next month, but this is so easy and profitable that I want to fix it before it cures itself.

Doctor: "Let me check your medical history."

Translation: I want to see if you've paid your last bill before spending any more time with you."

Doctor: "We have some good news and some bad news."

Translation: The good news is, I'm going to buy that new BMW. The bad news is, you're going to pay for it.

Doctor: "Let me schedule you for some tests."

Translation: I have a forty percent interest in the lab.

Doctor: "I'd like to prescribe a new drug."

Translation: I'm writing a paper and would like to use you for a guinea pig.

Doctor: "If it doesn't clear up in a week, give me a call."

Translation: I don't know what it is. Maybe it will go away by itself.

Doctor: "I'd like to run some more tests."

Translation: I can't figure out what's wrong. Maybe the kid in the lab can solve it.

Source: www.laffaday.com
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My Birthday Mistake

For my birthday, I decided to treat myself by getting my hair professionally done. Bad idea!

I went in for this:

But instead I was left with this:

BALD SPOTS
ALL OVER MY HEAD!!!!!!

I came home with huge welts, bumps, and one of the biggest migraines ever! I wouldn't wish this kind of pain on my worst enemy. Well, maybe....

I was so upset that I refused to take any pictures on my birthday! And if you know me, you know how much I love being in front a the camera!

Here are a few close-ups of the dreaded hairstyle:

I took my hair down in less than 2 days and my hair has never been the same since!!!

Lesson learned:
don't trust anyone with your hair
unless they have a bazillion recommendations.

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Movie List - 1/2012

Any movie that is highlighted should definitely be checked out! Movies that are in bold are considered to be good, but not great. A lot of good movies this month! Most, that are not  highlighted or in bold, are still worth a viewing.

Movie List - 1/2012

_________

United States of Tara: Season 1
Shark Night
Drive
50/50
Alvin and the Chipmunks
Big Love: Season 5
Paranormal Activity 3
Real Steel
Final Destination 5
Arthur (2011)
Killing Bono
The Ides of March
Kevin Hart: Laugh at My Pain
Elite Squad (Slow parts but terrific movie)
Meet the Browns: Season 1
Tucker & Dale vs. Evil
Moneyball
Rise of the Planet of the Apes
The Life and Times of Tim: Season 2
Our Idiot Brother
The Hangover: Part II
True Blood: Season 3

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Movie List - 12/2011

Any movie that is highlighted should definitely be checked out! Movies that are in bold are considered to be good, but not great.

Movie List - 12/2011

_________


 Young Adult
Margin Call
Gettysburg
35 and Ticking
Infamous
The First Grader
Apollo 18
Faces in the Crowd
True Blood: Season 3
Bunraku*
Colombiana
Warrior
Donnie Brasco
The United States of Leland
Fright Night
Point Blank
Community: Season 2
Monty Python's Life of Brian
Life, Above All
The Change-Up
Green Lantern
The Smurfs
Hanna

*The action sequences and filming techniques were awesome but that still could not help this snooze-fest. So much potential but something went wrong. I couldn't sit through that boring movie ever again!

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Instant Activity Movie List: 7/2011 - 12/2011

Any movie that is highlighted should definitely be checked out! Movies that are in bold are considered to be good, but not great.

Instant Activity Movie List:
7/2011 - 12/2011

_________



Psych: Season 5
Parks and Recreation: Season 3
Parks and Recreation: Season 2
Death of a Ghost Hunter
The Kill Point
In the Mouth of Madness
Breaking Bad: Season 3
Breaking Bad: Season 2
Breaking Bad: Season 1
Paranormal Entity
Parking Wars: Season 4
Parking Wars: Season 3
The Breed
Medium: Season 6
Don't Look in the Cellar
The First 48: Season 1
Nick Swardson's: Season 1
Army Wives: Season 3
Army Wives: Season 2
Are You Scared
Mad Men: Season 4
Mad Men: Season 3
Mad Men: Season 2
Fire in the Sky
Sons of Anarchy: Season 2
Sons of Anarchy: Season 1
Arthur
FlashForward: Season 1
Cold Prey
Gangland: Season 1

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