January 1, 2008



I would like to give honor to God who is the head of my life

and to welcome all visitors to the "Words of Jericho Ontop

Of A Mighty Rock Seventh-Day Christian Missionary

Baptist Tabernacle Church of God in Christ.

We do appreciate you all coming out today and due to bills

not being paid, there is no air-conditioning or fans available.

Sis. Usher will be walking around with fans and ice cubes

for a $5 dollar donation which will go towards our Pastor's

new fur..........I mean the Church's Building Fund.

The Youth Sisters Ministry will be having their 100 Women

in Weave March this Sunday at 4pm. Members are asked to

invite a friend. The more weave the better. The members of the

church are asked to keep Bro. Allen in your prayers.

After singing "Trouble Don't Last Always", he was arrested

for shoplifting. He's now serving the rest of his previous

5 year sentence. I guess his troubles are going to last

for 5 years.

Anyway.......................Sis. Hattie will be selling

mud cakes and mud pies after service today. She wants to

apologize to the people who got sick from her cakes and

pies last month. She says that she had no idea that real

mud was not supposed to be used in making the cakes or pies.

The Health Ministry will be giving away Pepto Bismol for

all members who purchase cakes or pies today.

Today we will be passing around plastic spoons and shot

glasses for Communion. Seems like the motherboard wanted

to start the party early this morning, so we are stuck

with using Rice Krispies and Crown Royal instead of

breadsticks and Martell. You can thank the Pastor for

just so happening to have bought 4 Cases of Crown Royal

last night after the Church's Revival and left them in

his new Red 2003 Mustang. Pastor how did you afford that

car without a job? God is good, ain't he?

Due to the recent slew of bounced checks, a list of names

of those people who can not write checks for tithes to the

church is inside your morning program. Because of the

increase in men joining the church because of last week's

announcement, the pastor wanted me to make sure that

everyone understood the announcement.

The Men's Ministry
will be sponsoring a Sweatshirt Contest,

not a Wet Shirt
Contest. The reason is to choose the new logo

for their
sweatshirt. Those men who just joined the church,

we want
you to know that your $200 deposit is non-refundable

and has
gone towards the pastor's love offering.................

I mean the
church's building fund. :-D

The Pastor wanted the Praise Dancers to know that he has

turned down your request to add the Electric Slide, the

Cabbagge Patch, and the Rump Shaker to your routines

during Praise and Worship Service. A side note to that

announcement goes to the men in the congregation. Please

do not throw money or phone numbers at the feet of the

Praise Dancers. If anything you should throw it into the

pastor's love.................I mean the Building Fund.

The Music and Arts Departments are bringing back their

popular play:

"Big Mama Whooped Me During Sunday School." Tickets are

going fast.

After today's service, we will be selling dinner for those

of you who will be staying for the evening service. On the

menu is Chicken, Rolls, String Beans and Punch. The cost is

$25.00 per person.

Members are encouraged to pick up Bro Sterling's new cd. It

features the hit song "Why We Bling". It's a remake of Kirk

Franklin's "Why We Sing". Featuring J.O.B...Jesus Over Blunts.

As you know, Luke from the 2 Live Crew joined our ministries

last Sunday and will be rapping and singing his testimony to

us during the R&B.......I mean A&B selection...He wants

everyone to know that...it's no longer about if it's your

birthday........"It's Your Judgment Day". R. Kelly will

also be in the temple next Sunday singing his praises, but

you know that grown boy like little girls, so please keep

your children at home.

Today's announcements are sponsored by June Bug N' Pee-Wee's

Bible Bookstore and Barber Shop where their motto is "Buy a

book and improve your look."
Source: Unknown

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