I would like to give honor to God who is the head of my life
and to welcome all visitors to the "Words of Jericho Ontop
Of A Mighty Rock Seventh-Day Christian Missionary
Baptist Tabernacle Church of God in Christ.
We do appreciate you all coming out today and due to bills
not being paid, there is no air-conditioning or fans available.
Sis. Usher will be walking around with fans and ice cubes
for a $5 dollar donation which will go towards our Pastor's
new fur..........I mean the Church's Building Fund.
The Youth Sisters Ministry will be having their 100 Women
in Weave March this Sunday at 4pm. Members are asked to
invite a friend. The more weave the better. The members of the
church are asked to keep Bro. Allen in your prayers.
After singing "Trouble Don't Last Always", he was arrested
for shoplifting. He's now serving the rest of his previous
5 year sentence. I guess his troubles are going to last
for 5 years.
Anyway.......................Sis. Hattie will be selling
mud cakes and mud pies after service today. She wants to
apologize to the people who got sick from her cakes and
pies last month. She says that she had no idea that real
mud was not supposed to be used in making the cakes or pies.
The Health Ministry will be giving away Pepto Bismol for
all members who purchase cakes or pies today.
Today we will be passing around plastic spoons and shot
glasses for Communion. Seems like the motherboard wanted
to start the party early this morning, so we are stuck
with using Rice Krispies and Crown Royal instead of
breadsticks and Martell. You can thank the Pastor for
just so happening to have bought 4 Cases of Crown Royal
last night after the Church's Revival and left them in
his new Red 2003 Mustang. Pastor how did you afford that
car without a job? God is good, ain't he?
Due to the recent slew of bounced checks, a list of names
of those people who can not write checks for tithes to the
church is inside your morning program. Because of the
increase in men joining the church because of last week's
announcement, the pastor wanted me to make sure that
everyone understood the announcement.
The Men's Ministry will be sponsoring a Sweatshirt Contest,
not a Wet Shirt Contest. The reason is to choose the new logo
for their sweatshirt. Those men who just joined the church,
we want you to know that your $200 deposit is non-refundable
and has gone towards the pastor's love offering.................
I mean the church's building fund. :-D
The Pastor wanted the Praise Dancers to know that he has
turned down your request to add the Electric Slide, the
Cabbagge Patch, and the Rump Shaker to your routines
during Praise and Worship Service. A side note to that
announcement goes to the men in the congregation. Please
do not throw money or phone numbers at the feet of the
Praise Dancers. If anything you should throw it into the
pastor's love.................I mean the Building Fund.
The Music and Arts Departments are bringing back their
popular play:
"Big Mama Whooped Me During Sunday School." Tickets are
going fast.
After today's service, we will be selling dinner for those
of you who will be staying for the evening service. On the
menu is Chicken, Rolls, String Beans and Punch. The cost is
$25.00 per person.
Members are encouraged to pick up Bro Sterling's new cd. It
features the hit song "Why We Bling". It's a remake of Kirk
Franklin's "Why We Sing". Featuring J.O.B...Jesus Over Blunts.
As you know, Luke from the 2 Live Crew joined our ministries
last Sunday and will be rapping and singing his testimony to
us during the R&B.......I mean A&B selection...He wants
everyone to know that...it's no longer about if it's your
birthday........"It's Your Judgment Day". R. Kelly will
also be in the temple next Sunday singing his praises, but
you know that grown boy like little girls, so please keep
your children at home.
Today's announcements are sponsored by June Bug N' Pee-Wee's
Bible Bookstore and Barber Shop where their motto is "Buy a
book and improve your look."
Source: Unknown
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