What is you sign?

AQUARIUS You have an inventive mind and are a progressive
thinker. You also lie a lot and are inclined to be careless
and impractical, making the same mistakes over and over.
Everyone thinks you are a jerk.

PISCES You have a vivid imagination and often think you are
being followed by the CIA. You have some influence over your
friends and people resent you for flaunting your power.
Underneath it all you lack confidence and are generally a
coward. Pisces people screw small animals and pick their
noses a lot.

ARIES You are the pioneer type and have strong leadership
tendencies, but you regard others with contempt. You are
quick tempered, impatient and don't take well to advice.
You are a Melvin.

TAURUS You are down to earth and persistent. You are de-
termined and can work like hell. Most people think that
you are a pig headed not the best. You're probably a
communist.

GEMINI You are quick and intelligent - a thinker. People
like you because you are bisexual, You are also a cheap bar
steward, expecting everything for nothing. Gemini's are
notorious for thriving on incest.

CANCER You are extremely sensitive by nature and very
caring. You are a wimp, You are hopeless at making decisions
and that is why you will always be on welfare and you will
never be worth a lot.

LEO Leo people are born leaders but most people think they
are just pushy. Most Leo's are bullies. They are assholes
who break down under honest criticism. Your arrogance is
disgusting. Leo People are thieving bullies who kiss mirrors
a lot.

VIRGO You are the logical type and detest disorder. Nit-
picking makes your friends sick. You are cold and
unemotional and often fall asleep while screwing. Virgo's
make good bus drivers and pimps.

LIBRA Librans are lucky in employment and financial matters.
You are the artistic type and have a difficult time with
reality. If you are male then you are probably queer. Most
Libran woman are whores. All Librans die of V. D.

SCORPIO You are shrewd in business and cannot be trusted.
You will reach the pinnacle of success because of your
total lack of ethics. You are a perfect Son of a bitch.
Most Scorpio people are murdered.

SAGITTARIUS You are optimistic and enthusiastic with a
reckless tendency to rely on luck since you have no talent.
Most Sagitarians are drunks or pot heads. People laugh at
you a lot because you are always messing things up.

CAPRICORN you are conservative and afraid of taking risks.
You are basically a chickenshit. There has never been a
Capricorn of any importance, you should kill yourself.

Source:
http://laffaday.gophercentral.com