My Favorites

Wanted to share some things about myself. As you can tell from the title, it's all my favorite things in one post. All I'm missing is a bow! :0)

LOVE to watch movies.
Especially horrors, but I also love action flicks.
On a rainy day, I'll be watching one of these movies:

• Con Air (PUT DOWN THE BUNNY! LOL),
• Little Shop of Horror (I know the lyrics to every SINGLE song),
• Thir13en Ghost,
• 28 Days Later,
• Anchorman,
• and my new favorite movie is Stardust.

Music is my life. It helps me keep a grip on reality.
I listen to mostly everything...
but it all depends on my mood...
just as long as it sounds good.
My fav singers are Luther Vandross and Celine Dion.
My fav group is Boyz II Men.
I also love Michael Bolton,
Sade,
Joe,
Brian McKnight,
Black Eyed Peas,
Green Day,
Linkin Park,
and Maroon Five.

Since becoming a homebody, I watch a lot of tv shows. I am hooked on

• A Haunting,
• It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia,
• Grey's Anatomy,
• 30 Rock,
• Medium,
• Family Guy,
• and Top Model.

RIP to Oz, Scrubs, The Wire, Six Feet Under, Nip/Tuck, Girlfriends, The Sopranos, Prison Break, My Name is Earl, MXC on Spike Tv, Better Off Ted, & Fastlane.

My favorite books are:

"The Outsiders" by S.E. Hinton,

"I am the Cheese" by Robert Cormier,
"The Catcher in the Rye" by J.D. Salinger,
"Desperate Hoodwives" & "Shameless Hoodwives" both by Meesha Mink, De'nesha Diamond

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Images to Encourage

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Web Cleansing

Cleansing is beneficial; whether it's spiritual or emotional, it's always worth it at the end.

I've been in a rut for the past 3 years. It might actually be longer but I've stopped counting. Anyhow, no matter how far I run, I consistently return to the same exact spot that I began at. Well enough is enough! I'm tired of running in circles! Rather than becoming a basket case, I've decided to start from scratch. Anything that makes me happy is going to be eliminated from my life.

You are probably scratching your head. "Shouldn't you hold on to the things that bring you joy and get rid of the rest?"

Honestly? It's my life and I'll do what I want. 

Plus, even if I'm wrong, it's still a learning experience. There's a lesson to be learned from everything that happens our lives.

So, I'm starting from scratch and everything must go. Unfortunately, this cleansing will not be long and drawn out, since there remains very few things that make me happy. One of the things that I love to do is get lost reading different blogs/sites. I've removed at least 5 cherished sites already. It was difficult so I know I made the right choices. I can't move forward if I don't start somewhere.

This all started on April 15, during one of my many temper tantrums while on twitter.

It dawned on me that I had to delete my account. *gasp* I know! How can someone, who was once so obsessed, become so frustrated that they are willing to cut ties with people who are more genuine than "real friends"?

It's easy actually. I like to act before I think.

It's a horrible characteristic but it's more of a blessing than a curse. Sometimes... Once I start to dwell on whatever it is, I'll talk myself out of it.  So if I think, I won't react accordingly. Then I'm back to square one. And square one is the worst place to be. Especially once you've realize that you were doing well at square ten.

Anyway, bye bye twitter.

I can go on..... but I won't....

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P.S.:

I deleted my twitter account. But the actor, on stage, becomes lonely without an audience. So then I opened a new one since I couldn't bear to remove certain individuals from my life. I also kept a lot of people who I found to be entertaining. But I've promised to keep it to less than 100 followers.

P.S.S.:

Less than 200 followers. But that's it!

It's 4/20 and I wish I was high...on life...on anything!

I've been so frustrated these last few weeks that it is causing me to not think rationally. Now I know why my little sister thinks I'm bi-polar. My moods fluctuate more than a hormonal pregnant woman. Although, on many good days, I've concluded that 2010 is just not my year.

Feels like I've been in physical pain every single day of this year. However, the pain didn't become problematic until I slammed my elbow onto my sister's iron bed frame 2 months ago. I understand I'll always be in pain for the rest of my life, but after 3 years, I'm fed up and want a do-over. In the new version of my life, I'm going to marry him, drop out of school, become a housewife, and be miserable for the rest of my life. Or better yet, I could go back 10 years and choose to give up even earlier in life. While I'm at it, why don't I go back 17 years, to junior high school, and drop out then; that's when life was really unbearable.

Fortunately for me, there aren't any do-overs; I don't get to purposely screw up my life. But on this very day, at this very moment, I know indefinitely that if I knew where I would be at 27 beforehand, I would have no choice but to give up in the sixth grade. What's the point of fighting and doing your best, when you constantly keep getting crappy cards in this game called life?

So I give up. No, seriously. I do.

If life is going to be miserable, why not take the easy route? Why not take your high school diploma -- no, bachelor's degree (and more than 3 medical certifications) and become a burger flipper? Why not settle for the first loser who showers you with love? Why not go against everything you know and love? It's all in vain, right?

Evidently, I can understand the people who live at home and never push themselves to do and be better. It seems pointless. Life is full of disappointments and the frustrations don't appear to be on the wane.

I do admire those people who keep striving for the best that life can offer them. However, I'm tired of being a disappointment; not to anyone else, but to myself. I'm my biggest enemy. So how do I deceive the one person who knows that every optimistic view I have and say is basically a lie? How do you distort the truth and promote a healthy state of mind?

I honestly have no idea!

So far, I just don't think about it. Well, I try not to. Every single health care provider I've had keeps telling me that ignoring it is unproductive and is why I am an insomniac, but I can't help it. Of course, I can't fall asleep until 6am and sometimes not at all, but I now have less headaches and am less susceptible to catching a cold or the flu. My life is mundane and the years, months, weeks, and days appear to be flying by, yet, I'm content.

After all, when you decide to settle, you can't complain when things aren't going your way...

Weekly Henna Treatment (#2)

After my first awesome experience using henna (click here for the post), I've decided to start using it weekly.

I can already see the difference. This is my hair without any product:






In less than 3 minutes I could already see the henna loosing my curls. This is my hair with henna in it.







This summer, my hair will be reddish-brown. I have only been natural for 11 months, but I've dyed my hair several times and due to the chemicals, I've had to cut almost 2-3 inches of hair off after battling with severe dryness (click here for the post). So for any future dye jobs, I'm only going to use henna.

In order to reach my goal for this summer, I'm going to dye my hair with jamila henna (gives a gorgeous red color) every week for the next 2 months. This is so exciting, especially since I've colored my hair wine red, sun-kissed brown, and dark brown, respectively, before eliminating chemicals and focusing just on henna.

Of course, I will keep you updated with my results.

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Dilemma

Last night I spent over 3 hours on the phone. We discussed the hardships in our personal lives, being perceived as a failure, being able to overcome our failed expectations, eliminating unnecessary baggage resulting from our physical, emotional, spiritual, and mental weaknesses, being optimistic in the present and the future, simplifying daily tasks in life, etc, etc.

The whole conversation reminded me of why I was so passionate about life and helping people. A few things that appeared to be slipping away from me recently. I have been giving up on people and hating our downward spiral caused by our lack of community and solidarity as the human race. The interaction left me with a renew awareness and understanding that was not appreciated before.

The only problem is the sense of guilt that overwhelmed me, not even one minute after hanging up the phone. Why would that be the first emotion after such a refreshingly desired change of pace? Oh yeah, did I forget to mention that the other person involved in the conversation was my good friend's boyfriend of 8 years? It's "not a good look", right?!

During the conversation, it felt like two people exchanging thoughts and opinions, but as soon as I hung up, it felt like it should have never taken place. What kind of friend would speak to her other friend's partner behind that person's back? To be honest, during most of the conversation, he was describing how much he loved my friend and wanted to make their relationship better. I never once felt disrespected or mislead; he wasn't trying to secretly flirt or seduce me but everything about the situation was wrong. Let me elaborate:

• The conversation took place between 2am and 5am.
• The person involved was the boyfriend of my good friend.
• Their relationship is often rocky.
• Compliments were given but nothing sexual; just statements of encouragement.

Should I have had this conversation given the situation? Am I wrong for feeling guilty? Should I tell her about it? I want to tell her, but what if she gets the wrong impression? What if he gets blame? Or am I just making a big deal out of nothing? Tell me what you think, please. So many questions....


Update:

I'm not interested in being in a relationship with him. I'm not a home-wrecker. I would never do that to anyone, let alone someone I've known for 10+ years. I also don't plan on ever speaking to him on the phone unless she is in his presence.

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Exercising (Clarification)

In my previous post called Exercising, I laid out my desired routine, my actual routine, and my lazy routine. I received a few remarks from people who thought I was overdoing it. Since I didn't specify the amount of repetitions and sets that I do, it gave people the wrong idea.

Workout Routine

• Aerobics*: 20-45 mins of jogging, speed walking, or using the Air Climber, to increase my heart rate, lose fat, etc. Duration depends on how long ago I worked out.


• Abs*: 6 to 8 different exercises performed on the mat, standing up, or on the Air Climber. Duration of each exercise is 45 seconds to 1 minute long. Total workout, without a break, is 8 minutes.


• Arms*: 10 to 12 different exercises performed with or with/out weights, water bottles, or cans. Duration of each exercise is 45 seconds to 1 minute long. Total workout, without a break, is 8 minutes.


• Legs*: 10 to 12 different exercises performed, either on a mat or standing up. Total workout, without a break, is 8 minutes.


• Butt: 3 exercises performed on a mat. Duration of each exercise is 1 minute long. Total workout, without a break, is 8 minutes.

*Using the AirClimber, total workout is 20 minutes long.

All workouts equal to 1 set, unless it's a lazy week. I never do more than 2 sets on a given day. Last time I tried that, I pulled a muscle.

Some days, I'll skip my routine and just focus on toning up. I usually do that with the Air Climber; that machine is the best! I was ecstatic the first day I saw the commercial and I had never ordered anything from an infomercial before. That day, after I picked my jaw up off the floor (lol), I went online and placed my order. I've been happy (and sexier) ever since. I recommend it to everyone who ask about my new and improved figure.

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1st Successful Twist Out

I finally figured out how to get my hair to listen!

After giving up on henna, I tried it one last time using jamila. It was 60% henna + 40% jamila, mixed with mostly water and a little bit of lemon juice.

Once I was done, I DC (deep conditioned) w/ HEHH (Herbal Essence Hello Hydration), EVOO (extra virgin olive oil), and honey. Then I did small twists and voila! This is my first good twistout. It only took 10 months, 1 week, and 3 days! lol

I love my hair so much more today. I received so many compliments too.

Side View

Same side view
but the hair dying results from using henna appear more evidently




Back View
(that's my lil sis's legs in the background! lol)




Another Back View

So what do you guys think?

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Henna - revisited

After my first two unsatisfactory experiences with henna (click here for the original post), I decided to never use it again. However, I decided to try it one last time before kicking it to the curb.

Long story, very short, it worked and I have been excited ever since. Here is what I posted on NaturallyCurly.com

I finally figured out how to get my hair to listen!

After giving up on henna, I tried it one last time using jamilla. It was 60% henna + 40% jamilla, mixed with mostly water and a little bit of lemon juice.

Once I was done, I DC w/ HEHH, EVOO, and honey. Then I did small twists and voila! This is my first good twistout. It only took 10 months, 1 week, and 3 days! lol

Pros:

• My hair is very conditioned.
• My hair is very soft and silky.
• The reddish-brown color is beautiful.
• My hair has a great shine to it.

Cons:

• The dye stained my hands even though I spent close to 30mins washing it out! lol One week later and my nails are still a brownish color. :0/ (I will use gloves to wash my hair even if it's the next day. lol)
  
• I can't get the smell of henna out of my system. (I will try to use green tea to eliminate/diminish the smell.)

What do you think of my new hair color?

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Movie List - 3/2010

Since I forgot about this section of my blog, I decided to forgo the rating system and just list the movies that I've watched during that particular month. Any movie that is highlighted should definitely be checked out! Movies that are in bold are considered to be good, but not great. (6/27/2011)

Movie List - 3/2010

_________


Cabin Fever 2: Spring Fever
Where the Wild Things Are
Afghan Star
The Informant!
The Hangover
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (2005)
The Men Who Stare at Goats
Helter Skelter: Director's Cut
Law Abiding Citizen
The Twilight Saga: New Moon
The Stepfather
Joshua
Armored
Orphan
The Uninvited Guest
Precious: Based on the Novel by Sapphire
Wrong Turn
Surrogates
Sybil
The Private Lives of Pippa Lee
2012

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